Tamara Shazam!

On Saturday morning I woke up, like usual, got out of bed, like usual, and when I got undressed to get dressed, I took off my shirt, like usual. Which means I invert it over my head and use the opportunity to stretch out my shoulder blades by pressing out against the pressure of the inside of the shirt… Heretofore, my favorite morning stretch.
Except…
On Saturday morning I did it, streeeeetchTWANG! Suddenly my back HURT. Like, all capital letters HURT! Right under my left shoulder blade! YEOWTCH! I stood there for a moment, tried to re-stretch to make… Whatever it was, pop back into place and stop hurting. But it didn’t. I called out to Bradley who helped me limp to the bed (do I sound pathetic, or what?!) and he promptly gave me a back rub. A few hours later, once again, after back rubs, Aleve and the hot tub, I was able to move again. We took it easy over the weekend- just a little running and hiking- and I thought I was good to go.
This morning, there I was, AGAIN, pajamas coming off, streeeetch, and BOOM. I did it again without even thinking about it. It was so bad this morning that I was certain I’d have to go home after my work meeting* to soak and lay around. But again, Aleve, shower, back rub and I was able to drive to work.
So… Today I got home and, after careful consideration, I decided to take a few days off of training. I feel like a wimp, but I’ll feel stupid if I push a little injury into being a big one through bullish behavior.
What am I going to do, then? Well, today we walked about four miles at a fast pace. When I run, I hold my upper body tight and build a lot of painful tension all around my bra. I think this injury is totally related. Boo. Hisssssss. So, for now, I am walking. The whole time today I just kept thinking of how much faster this would go if I ran, or how many more calories I would be burning if I were running. Ah well. Moving is what is most important.
I also started thinking about some of my early days of calorie counting and really careful strategic eating. One of my biggies was no night calories. I could drink tea, diet soda, water or anything with zero calories, but nothing ‘real’. Tonight I brought some herbal tea up with me to the bedroom (another strategy- avoid the kitchen after dinner) and hunkered down upstairs to write and plan the week’s outfits (intentional, busy activity to avoid thinking about food). I’m also trying to dial back the calories, but it’s staff appreciation week this week at my school and they provide the most delicious lunches alllll week. Best week all year.
***
I don’t know about the rest of the country, but here in Washington, we’ve adopted a lovely new teacher evaluation system. While fabulous in theory, and in practice it does make for great reflection, it’s added a genuine amount of stress to many teacher’s lives. If not in the putting together and thinking of the thing, then the stress it causes just by being new, thus, unpredictable.
Anyhow, I had my final evaluation for the year and earned marks that exceeded standard! I can finally let out the breath I’ve been holding all year! I can relax and just enjoy my students while we finish out the year. We may or may not have celebrated with fancy beverages at home after.

Today I was reminded that I live in an amazingly beautiful place. We hiked through St. Edwards Park again today, just a short 3 miler or thereabouts… But man. I felt like I was in a ‘Visit the Beautiful PNW’ advertisement or something. It’s amazing here… It’s Mother’s Day today, and I was showered with homemade treasures- a cute little pinch pot from Boy and a beautiful optical illusion card from Girl. Jude wrapped the pot in tissue to make it look like a big piece of candy. It was so cute! I had a delicious breakfast served to me, an Indian food feast for dinner, a hike, a run/ walk, I got a pair of jeans, some new capris and even a new purse. I’ve been spoiled rotten today. My family is wonderful. 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, moms to be and those who are thinking of motherhood in one way or another.
***
I’m coming clean: I didn’t meet my goals this week.
o______o
I know. There could be worse things and there are definitely some solid reasons for not doing better, so I’m not being too hard on myself, but still. It annoys me that the little things impact the big things. Perhaps it’s the myriad of changes (oh my, changes are afoot, I’ll let you know more about what the hay is happenin’ in the very near future) and it definitely has to do with the stress of my job and family and my crazy emotions of the past week… Lots of reasons. Not excuses.
So, what went well?
I ran about ten miles.
I lost a few pounds.
What didn’t go well?
Three of those miles were on the elliptical.
None of those were for my long run. I skipped my long run!
PMS ended on Friday night, if you know what I mean, and I allow myself to take it easy when that happens, so I skipped my big run yesterday and today we hiked, which was awesome, but it wasn’t running, though we did probably get about a mile of running in with the kids, here and there. I guess that’s the thing to remember, though. It’s okay to take my training as it makes sense. I don’t have to be this perfect model of weightloss and exercise. I’m still doing great. We kept comparing this Mother’s Day to last Mother’s Day and realized how very far we’ve come as a family.
That said, within this paradigm of ‘Tamara Shazam’ that I have created, I’m allowed imperfection and failures and I seem to forget that. I intend to use this space as an opportunity for transparency and, thus, accountability. I don’t want to publicly fail…not that I necessarily failed this week. This site helps keep me in line, but that just means greater accountability, it doesn’t mean perfection.
Ok, I suppose, from that, you get a glimpse into my inner workings, the circular logic arguments I get in with myself. 🙂 When I think about it pragmatically, obviously the training schedule I’m on is a little intense for me. I have to remember I can go slow, listen to my body. That said, I should be trained up, at this point, for this level of intensity. I suppose it’s reasonable to expect that I should try for the same 3-3-3-4 mile schedule again this week with strength training sprinkled throughout. Maybe this week I’ll be successful again like the week before last and I’ll finish strong. Cheers for a healthy week with good intentions!

o

I like to get my runs done early in the week so they don’t hang over my head. We were busy Monday and Tuesday with various events, so I’m making both of my runs today and tomorrow (I already did one run on Sunday) with my longer run on Saturday.
Yesterday I wanted to run. Today, I wanted nothing more than to not run. But I still did. The first mile was brutal, the second and third were great, but then I decided to challenge myself. I decided to catch up with Bradley and run at his pace for the last quarter mile home. I picked up my pace and picked up my pace and picked up my pace and could not catch the man. I was running my butt off and was not an inch closer to him. Out of breath and wheezing, I asked him if he was trying to draft me. He answered that he was, and I burst into tears. It was not my finest moment, but I cried the rest of the way home about how I could never catch him and it’s so frustrating and wah wah wah. My sweet husband just looked at me and said that this was a hard run at the end of a hard day (first day of common core testing and other insanity) and I sure must be tired. I cried even harder because he is always so nice and even when I want to blame him for something he is always so kind that I can’t ever even believe that he would be mean or mocking!
As a side note, sometimes it stinks to be married to such a good, kind person. I never have a fall guy to take the blame for stuff my brain wants to deny its responsible for. I always have to realize own my own behavior! LOL
Anyhow, I walked in the door feeling defeated. I can’t even understand why. I did it. I ran. I made my training goal. think I’m a leeetle bit moody. Hmmm?

t

Workout one for this week is in the bag. I love those times in life when you force yourself to do something you didn’t really want to do to start with, and it ends up being magical. Today a friend of mine put the all-call out for someone to watch her kids for her while she went to hang some of her artwork. And since her kids are my kids’ favorites, it was easy to say yes and invite them over. After they left, I really wanted to get a run in, and Bradley had already gone while the kids were over, so I told Gigi to get dressed and she would be my buddy. She grudgingly went and put on her gear, and once we got started, she rocketed ahead of me. I tried to keep up with her, but she stayed just beyond the point where we could have a conversation… I was disappointed, having been seeking a bonding opportunity with my daughter, but I understood. I was ten, once, too and I remember my mom forcing me to do stuff. But still. Sniff.
About a mile into the run, she got a stitch in her side and had to walk, and turned to me full of accusing tears. “My side hurts!” She hollered at me. I told her that was fine, we could walk, and she just leaned into me, out her arm around me, and gave in. We walked quietly for a bit, and finally she was ready to run again. Just as we took off, the clouds burst open and started weeping down on us plentifully. The downpour washed away all the grief and hard feelings she was harboring, and suddenly I was running with my baby again; she came alive and we started chattering about Winnie the Pooh and blustery days and how Piglet might fare in our storm. We laughed, we ran, we hopped in puddles and played. By the time we got home, we were steaming, soaked to the bone and feeling alive and full of love! We talked our boys into a short mile around the block, and they came too, donning rubber boots and umbrellas. The rain finally let up right when we saw our house, perfect timing. We ended our workout with a soak in the hot tub and warm jammies for all. I couldn’t be more satisfied with today’s workout.

I would count this week as a success. I ran as much as I had planned, including not just a four mile run as my ‘long run’ for the week, but actually ran 4.5 miles today.
I’m ending this week feeling strong and capable. I ran 13.6 miles this week, all totaled. I did my strength training, and even discovered that long lost feeling of wanting to run. On Friday, after work, I considered a run in the neighborhood, remembered that Friday was just a weights/strength training day, then instantly I became full of sadness that I wouldn’t be out in the sun, running. I caught myself mourning the run that wouldn’t be and celebrated how much I missed running! That was such a good sign! I felt so proud of my body.
When I started running this week, I also started eating. I more than doubled my mileage from all of the winter weeks where I maxed out at 4-6 miles and the result, for the past few days, was ravenous eating. I was soooo hungry! It would start as soon as I woke up and all day my tummy was gnawing at me- FEED ME SEYMOUR! So I did. I let my gut guide me and I fed it, all week, to keep up with the running. I figured that getting in the condition to earnestly run again was worth the sleeve of Ritz crackers, the m&ms, the almonds, the extra bags of Pop Chips. My nutrition goal this week is to journal twice so I can look more closely at what I’m putting into my body and, generally, get back to some weightlosing eating habits again.
My other goal is to copy the fitness from this week exactly. I need to take three runs of three miles a piece, one run of about four miles, two days of strength training and one day of rest. Tomorrow I’m running three miles with a newer friend of mine. She is faster than me, so hopefully she will be challenged enough to enjoy the run. At the very least we can chatter like chickens for the duration. 😉
***
I had a few celebrations this week for people I know and love.

I want to give a shout out to my friend who approached me on Friday to tell me how she is finished being the fat girl* and she’s been walking every day, she’s lost 16 pounds and she is determined to lose more. She cited me for being her trigger, her inspiration, but I find that ironic since a few years ago she was one of my primary sources of inspiration for my own weight loss project. I felt so proud of her and her courage in owning her project and taking the first steps to becoming her healthiest self.

Another friend of mine shared about how good it feels to fit into her jeans again. You know the ones- you tucked them away in the back of your closet as a depressing reminder of how slender you used to be…? Well, she fits them again. Doesn’t that just feel good? (Actually, I have two friends to whom this story belongs this week!)

An old friend of mine is following her husband’s footsteps (he’s lost about 100 pounds now, I believe) and is going in for a gastric sleeve herself, now. I’m so proud of her for committing to making this change! Cheers for a brighter future with a great jump start!

My cousin has lost 90 pounds in one year after having weightloss surgery! I’m so proud of her stick-to-it-iv-ness after staring in the face of so much adversity and making such a big decision. Amazing, strong woman.

One of my immediate family members has been running races and jogging all over the place whenever the opportunity arises.

I get so proud of people when they start making strides towards their happiest self. And to be clear, when I say happy, I totally equate that with the sense of self these women (and man) share, the healthiness they’ve achieved. As I’ve often said, if you’re fat and happy, please, enjoy. But if you’re fat and unhappy, that’s a hard place to be. Besides, making changes that will make you happier and/or healthier is infinitely more meaningful than just the number of pounds a person has lost.

*
For years I was the fattest girl in the room, the fattest girl at my place of employment, the fattest one in my family, the fattest one in the circle of friends and I hated it. It was like being slapped in the face when she said that she was done being the fat girl because I totally understood. Even if it’s a false sense of self perception, it’s no fun being the gold standard for fatness that everyone else compares and measures themselves against. The fatness litmus test… I’m proud of my friend for standing up and saying she refuses to be that anymore and that she is being proactive about it. You go girl!!! 🙂

>

When I committed to running this half marathon thing, I was all enthusiasm, all belief, all excited because I just knew I could! I still know I can, but oh my goodness! I’m tired. Sooooo tired. But I’m sticking with it. Today was my third run for the week (My weeks go Sunday-Saturday) and I even followed through with my weight training last night. I’m staying the course, and I’m pretty proud. Tomorrow I’ll rest, and my long run will be Saturday, after the heat wave has left the lovely PNW.

Today’s run was not easy. I actually ran all three miles with times in the upper 11’s. I’m not worried about time, but that is slow, even for me! At one point, during the last quarter mile, I started freaking out and had to try not to cry. I just got so tired. So hot. So sweaty. So panicky… Bradley had to talk me down from that ledge, reminding me that I went from running 6 miles a week to running 12 miles in the last five days, that today was 80 degrees- the first authentically warm day of the year, and most importantly, that I can still do this. I did. I finished strong, or at least finished.

At the end of the run we needed to go pick up our kids from a friend’s house so we walked on over, still in our sweaty running clothes. Upon our arrival, Jude’s buddy let us know that we could just hang out for a while if we wanted- we didn’t need to rush off (and take our kids with us)! Then he disappeared into the house and came back with a cheese stick and a bottle of water- which he poured into the nearest cup, possibly used. It was, hands down, one of the sweetest things a child has ever done for me. I slugged that water down and ate my cheese stick. It was the perfect thing!

g

Prepare to have your mind blown: I’m going to tell you my secrets to starting running.
Ready?
Go outside and RUN! LOL!
It’s that easy.
Except it is and it isn’t. I know, that was super snarky and snotty of me and I hate those people who say things like, “Just get off the couch and do it.” To a certain degree, there is truth in that. That said, the hardest steps for me to take are the first ones that lead me to my workout clothes. After that, the wheels are in motion and I can get going, but actually getting off the couch and into the running clothes then outside is sometimes the most difficult part of the whole run.
But I would never say it’s that easy. The mental hurdles are often the most difficult to overcome.
***
Why I started running:
Running always seemed so romantic to me. REAL athletes are runners, in my mind. Like, reading is the gateway to pretty much any knowledge, running seems the same in the exercise world. If you can run, anything else is possible. Running seems primal, animal, at the root of our humanity. We are meant to run and experience the runner’s high, the feeling of our body in motion, the feeling of giving our all. Not experiencing that seemed to me a little bit like not experiencing something that is inborn in us. Like not traveling, or graduating from college. It just seemed like one of those things I was supposed to do as a part of being human, otherwise I was going to be disappointed in myself as an old lady. (I’m telling you, that old lady -the one who shares my name- the one who lurks in my future bossing me around- she’s a real toughie and is always harping on me to take better care of myself so she can enjoy her sunset years. Like it’s all about her… It is. LOL!)
I flirted with running as a kid. I looked at runners and thought that if I could do that, I would be a real badass. Running takes dedication, endurance and strength, though, so I didn’t believe I was going to be able to do it. At age 15, after a couple of laps around the block dressed in my finest summer shorts with long johns underneath paired with supportive Keds, I gave up. Too sweaty, too hard, not me.
A few years ago, Bradley started running and I started power walking. As he became a more capable runner I started wondering what it would be like to run, better yet, what it would be like to run with my husband. To become one of those couples. It seemed like fun. But once again, I pushed it off. I was a walker. Not a runner. I knew this.
Then I saw Katie Foster from Runs For Cookies. She was a heavy girl who started running and lost a bunch of weight, going from the 250’s to the 130’s in a year! She started eating right, but with the running, she was also able to have a treat every day that made her feel like she hadn’t given all of the ‘good’ stuff up. She didn’t believe in a diet, rather using self control. She said I shouldn’t eliminate the things I enjoy unless I was planning to do that forever. Instead I should make calorie allowances for them. I realized I was more than willing to make that deal with myself- as long as I was committed to exercise, I could still eat things like ice cream! Sign me up!
After I ‘met’ Katie, I started researching running. There are a lot of naysayers who talk about impact injuries, knee replacements and all of the health problems that come from running, and, while those injuries do happen, it’s less than non-runners like to believe. On top of that, I realized that I can run until my knees blow out and I’ll still be healthy, or I can eat until my heart gives out and be dead. I’d rather be a paraplegic than dead. I choose running. And I don’t mean to be flip or arrogant or implying that being paraplegic is trivial, I just mean life, healthy, is better than being dead and missing out on my kids. So I decided to go for it. I decided to become a runner.
As I continued to research my newest hobby, I learned that running kicks booty as far as what it does for your body. It teaches endurance. It builds muscle. It works your heart. It burns many more calories than other forms of exercise and it’s badass enough that running makes me feel strong and capable. That self perception is important. I’d better think running is cool otherwise I’m totally not going to do the work to call myself that brand of athlete.
Best of all? All you need is a pair of good sneakers. You can run anywhere, anytime in any clothing. It certainly is more pleasant in the right attire, but you get my point. I didn’t have to join a gym and I don’t have to drive to it or purchase anything. It levels the excuses right out!
That’s why I chose running.

How I started running:
My running schedule came straight from, you guessed it, Runs For Cookies Katie! Seriously, you guys, I just went and studied up on Katie and started doing what she did. She’s amazing!
I started with a goal of 30 minutes of exercise. My running built up in small increments over time (with rests in between some of the days) like this:
Day 1: run 30 seconds, walk 29 minutes 30 seconds
Day 2: run one minute, walk 29 minutes
Day 3: run two minutes, walk 28 minutes
Day 4: run four minutes, walk 26 minutes
Day 5: run six minutes, walk 24 minutes
Day 6: run eight minutes, walk 22 minutes
I planned to continue like this, but I kept realizing that it wasn’t as hard as I had always thought it would be. Around this time, I decided to run my first mile. It was a lot of work, but the glory I felt was pretty incredible! After I ran that mile, I stopped worrying so much about how much I could do and started wondering how much I was truly capable of. My longest distance to date is a little over five miles and my fastest mile is 8:12. I never thought I’d run a mile, ever, much less one in that time, and the fact that I ran five in a row last summer like it wasn’t a big deal still can boggle my mind.
One of the things that Katie said, that was important for me, was to not focus on speed, focus on endurance. Set a time and go for that, as slow as you need. She said that sometimes you could probably walk faster than you were running, but enduring that motion was important. She said speed would come with practice. For me, she was exactly right. These days I go back and forth. Sometimes I run for distance and others I run for time. When I’m running distance it’s for training. Running for a length of time is just a cardio workout. I much prefer to run to train over the joy of cardio.

Curvy Runner-Girl Clothing:
Wear compression gear and support gear- as much as you need. If you’ve lost weight or, simply, have weight, you know that running also means bouncing flesh. Not only does my wobbly, fatty flesh’s very existence irritate me, it also calls a lot of attention to itself when I run. It wants to bounce out of my bra, out of my pants out from under my shirt… My skin gets to shaking and who knows what is going to fly out?! I swear, my stomach is like a hammock with a cantaloupe in it!
Bras and jockstraps were invented for a reason- to hold flying bits in place and keep active folks from hurting themselves. People with hanging skin issues like mine have to protect themselves similarly. I wear maidenform shapewear that I buy in the shapewear section of Ross for less than 8.00 a piece. I wear it all the time except when I have a bathing suit or pajamas on. Last summer I tried skipping it on a few runs, but ended up with rashes where my belly skin rubs against itself. Holding it still not only is more attractive, it also is less painful.
I’m also a strong believer in dressing the part. I purchase exercise gear as I need and when something particularly cute shows up. I like to feel like I fit in when I exercise, and wearing 8 year old sweats and a baggy t-shirt makes me feel unattractive and like a poser. My running tights, however much they cling to my curves, are not only more functional (spandex is tight so you don’t have extra fabric and it glides, so your thighs have very little friction), I also feel like a bonafide runner in them.
I’m a big fan of the bras Brooks sells and love Target’s workout gear. Btw- 2X in the Target Active section fit me when I was a 22-24 down to when I was an 18. Lotsa stretch- don’t be afraid to try things on, and remember, you’ll shrink out of them if your stick with the exercise. Plus? Those little tight Capri running tights? They are only the best thing to wear around the house EVAH. Yes, even better than yoga pants. Ross has lots of workout gear as well, but you have to be pickier about fit. I ended up with several pairs that seem intent on sharing which underwear I’m wearing with passers by all the time rather than keeping me clothed.

Today was day one of Team Awesome (Team Awesome consists of my husband, me and anyone else who reads this site). We rose and shone extra shinily this morning and immediately committed to a three mile run. I dressed in my Mickey Mouse shirt for my inaugural training run, because unbeknownst to my running partner, today was day one of Operation Team Awesome Trains for a Half Marathon (yes, I am making this name up as I go). But it really was the first day of training and my husband didn’t know that training started today. He said, after, that if I’m trying for a half marathon then he is too. Since we run together, I have a partner by default! LOL!
He has been feeling under the weather and was also wavering in his belief in himself. For some reason, he thought he was out of shape and no longer capable of running. Having been there only last week, I reminded him that half the battle is proving to yourself that you’ve still got it. That you still can. And the only way to do that is to hit the street with a run in mind and prove yourself up. It’s amazing what negative self talk can do to a person.
I had the opposite experience. Today was a superhero day- one of those workouts where you feel indomitable; it was the kind of workout that would annoy people. Why? I kept saying loudly, “I’m so loving this workout today! I’m having the best time!” And other obnoxious things like that. If today were the half marathon, I promise that I would have enjoyed the heck out of finishing it. It was such a fun run. I’m so glad I’ve figured out how to love running again. Races are important to me. Without one in front of me, I find it real easy to slack off.
So, training…
My goal this week is to hit 13 miles. That means I’ll do three runs of three miles a piece, and one run of four miles. I’ll. probably get the four miler next Saturday. I need to do strength training two days and I can take one day off of everything to rest. Probably Friday. I think I will do this next week, too, as I amp up my mileage and get used to putting distance behind me.

{on a recent hike}
***
I’m walking around on a training high. I’m ridiculously excited about this whole half marathon thing. I think I allowed a fear of failure to control my can-do (or can’t-do) attitude about the half marathon last year, and had talked myself out of even trying. It was just going to be too hard. Recently, however, I haven’t had a firm, long-term goal in front of me and started not liking running as much. It’s funny how having the goal of a race in front of me gets me so jazzed!
Anyhow, I found this Hal Higdon schedule for twelve weeks of training until I should be able to run 13.1 miles. Basically, there are four runs a week, three ‘easy’ runs and one longer run. The mileage increases little by little over the weeks, with two days of strength training/stretching and one day of rest worked in per week. I think I’m going to try to stick to the schedule, except I’m going to work a few slower runs into the beginning and extend the early phase a little bit while I build up my running endurance again. My body gets sore, lately, which tells me that I probably need to start out a little bit slow. Maybe not, but I can make that adjustment as I go.
I think I’m really going to go for it. I feel like if I get going on this project, all of my goals will kind of work themselves out. The training will make me burn calories, thus getting me closer to my goal of weighing 170. Running will make me stronger, both physically and mentally. Committing to the half marathon feels a lot like last year when I committed to my first 5K, I’m terrifically motivated and so excited to prove to myself that I can do it! I have to prove my naysaying side wrong.
Incidentally, I went online to look for some fun, local races and quickly got overwhelmed. There are so many races out there… I’m open to suggestions. I’m looking to run a few races over the summer, culminating in a half marathon in the fall. And only in the fall because I don’t relish running that long in August on a day that might be 100 degrees. Or 75. Whatever, hot is hot and I would like to hedge my bets for cooler weather.
***
On a side note, the kids are getting better and I’m being a good kid in both exercise and nutrition. It feels good to be back on track!

Today we had no students at school. One would think that when we don’t have kids in the room that we would leave all refreshed for the day, but I’m always surprised at how exhausted I am on non-student Fridays. Phew! So it should be no surprise to anyone that after I got home I was not interested in running or walking or anything. The yawns started as soon as I walked through the door and I started talking myself out of going for a run. Then I just downgraded it to a walk, but in my running clothes, just in case I felt like running.
I made some coffee, to boost my energy before I headed out. As I drank it, I reflected on a conversation I had with one of my favorite people from work. We were talking about blogging and goals and blogging goals and I got all excited about my body project and my blog. I made a decision: I’m going to start training for the Disney Princess Half Marathon!.
Like I said in my last post: there’s no reason I shouldn’t be running five miles regularly after I’ve been training this long. I’ve been running for over a year and I still don’t run more than three miles regularly. Truth be told, I usually pare my distance down to 1.5 miles, just enough to get my heart going and I feel like I burned calories for 20 minutes. There’s nothing wrong with doing a minimal 20 minute workout, but I also need to be pushing myself. With the goal of the half marathon ahead of me, I feel motivated all of the sudden. I’m not sure when I’ll do the Disney half marathon- in 2015 or 2016, but I’m going to shoot for a local half marathon around Christmas with a couple of 5Ks and 10Ks this summer to propel me forward. Perhaps I’m naive, and of course I’m going to do some research, but that seems reasonable to me.
So, anyways, back to my cup of coffee and reflective thoughts… I was sipping away, talking myself out of the run and regretting my decision to run that stupid half marathon. And I said it aloud! I was going to run a half marathon! To Becca!
Then I had this moment of clarity. I realized a few things. First, I want to lose weight and running is an excellent weight loss tool, obv. Second, I love the pride I feel after a run, and I thought of how smug I feel (to lazy Tamara, not to the world) after a run, and, let’s face it, I feel hella proud after a run. I wanted to feel all of that! So I did it! I squelched my yawns and committed to three times around the small block, three miles. Then I went out and I did it! I came home and felt awesome. Fabulous. Recommitted.

I feel happy tonight. I feel strong. I’m so excited to have a goal in front of me again, and I’m so glad to feel a drive for forward momentum again!
***
Oh… And guess who has Facebook now??
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