I’ve had a rough start. I was gung-ho with my newest body project while I was on winter break- everything was doable and easy. Then I went back to work with my super-fancy, high energy group and to compound that I was slammed with the hardest PMS cycle that I’ve had in years. I wanted to eat all of the food. I stumbled. Hard. I fell hard, too. Right off of my plan and into a passive phase where I intentionally ‘forgot’ my commitments to myself. The snow fell, rendering driving a challenge so I didn’t work out much. I ate lots of carbs and stopped food journaling while hunkering down, making books.
I’m working on two things right now. One is forgiving myself. I don’t need to be harder on myself than before I started my commitment. I don’t need to flagellate myself, browbeating and making myself feel worse about failing so soon after starting. The other is getting my shizz back together and restarting. I always used to say that a fresh start can happen anytime and as soon as I get back on track, I don’t have to look back with disappointment, but I’m having a hard time following through with that. It helps that my cycle restarted and my hormone high has relented, allowing my body to feel normal and my head to reset. It’s a perfect time to get rolling again!!!
It’s amazing how having access to dance every day helps me stay aligned with my goals. I need to employ the use of the SDF YouTube page to get my groove on, even on the days when I am not going to dance. I feel so good and focused on the days that I dance. On the days I can’t go for one reason or another I slide into bad habits. Being intentional is going to have to be key. Building new habits and applying my will power through that process has to be a priority over the next few weeks. If I can break my sugar addiction and build good habits, all of this will get easier. I think that needs to be an ironclad commitment. A promise that I won’t break to myself.
I have a little bit of extra pressure right now because I’m going to a wedding in Germany this summer. It’s not a requirement by any means that I lose some unhealthy fat before I go, but I want to, nonetheless. And I’m determined to fund as much of the trip as possible through my bookmaking. To that end, I’ve been diligently focused on making a Nightmare Before Christmas book series in any spare moments I can gather. It will be an incredible trip, just my daughter and me, hopefully ending with a reunion in the Happiest Place on Earth with Bradley and Jude, as long as I can earn enough money. I’m driven more than ever, not to impact my family bank account, so yeah, pressure.*
Here we go again. No luck needed, but a lot of determination. ❤️
I can do this. I. Can. Do. This.