Letting Go
Well.
I’ve been thinking and thinking about Tamara Shazam, this site. When I first started writing about my body project I was enthusiastic! Every thought I had was a lightbulb moment to write about. Every new discovery needed to be processed. Every success needed to be crowed about. I needed to create a living document to record my progress in order to believe that I really was creating my miracle.
And holy cannoli if this wasn’t a miracle. Is a miracle. If there was one thing I wished for in my life, one impossible problem I could solve it would be to lose unhealthy fat and actually be that healthy person I always wanted to be. It would be to wear a size 16 or smaller. It was to weigh less than 250.
Sometimes I still can’t believe I did it. I mean, at sometime you have to stop heralding the miracle to others, but I marvel every day at my body and fitness and protect it fiercely.
But I don’t want to write about it anymore. I love my blog- it became my life blood. My savior. It was here that I confessed everything. When everyone else had enough of hearing about my project I could shout it out here, I celebrated often and loud here, I confessed my deep darks, but more recently this became a job. I still love dancing and spin and lifting and running and eating healthy, but I also love crafting with paper, making books, drawing, gardening and hanging out with my kids. Each post takes at least an hour to write and it started to feel like a burden. So I’m officially pausing for a bit.
Not my health- no way! Like I said: I’m fiercely protective of my health and am still committed!
Loudmouth that I am, however, I will still be sharing my life, family, lifestyle and opinions over at Instagram. Connect with me there if you miss me. 😉
Ciao for now!
Tamara
