Know what my body is wanting to do today? Reclaim all the calories it has let go! Argh! Anxiety is a vile pile o’ stink. Worry not, I’m spending the time I’m not stuffing my face walking around and around the block. No joke – I’ve burned 900 calories today on my sneakers. I’ll beat these cravings if it’s the last thing I do!
I went roller skating last night. This is the second time in about a month and lemme tell ya- I rock at roller skating. This mama still has the moves! I got home and entered the calories burned and was in love with how many I burn at this weight (I earned 600 something calories burnt for an hour of skating! woot!) so then I got home and ate a bowl of reeses peanut butter chocolate cereal. And I ate cheese and crackers. SO, in retrospect it seems like a pretty reasonable ‘binge’ but at the same time it undid my awesome working out. Boo hoo. I’m fine. Just being an honest little reporter. who loves roller skating!
Time to crow: I went to Idaho this past weekend to spend some time with my parents. I was freaked out that I would succumb to bad travel habits and lose my stride. The opposite actually happened- I was so strict with myself that I went from the zero to the five according to their scale!!! We’ll see what holds true but I may very well be hitting a super exciting milestone soon! It will be the smallest I’ve been since my wedding!
Idaho… We drove all day yesterday to get here. I didn’t squeeze a workout in but I did stay on my calorie count. When I work out I’m hitting right around 1000 calories (but I’m really intaking around 1500-1600daily). I started my month with a nine in the ones column and ended it with a zero in the ones column. I’m pleased as punch!
One of the most useful things I do as a dieter is diary. I remember as a kid my mom constantly writing down her portions from all the different food groups as she lost weight through weight watchers. I always thought it looked like such a pain.
When I was dieting for baby I got to a point where I wanted to diary so I could see what I was eating. I invested the best 40.00 I’ve ever spent on the Calorie King. It tracked weight, vitamins, minerals an calories. It broke my food down into genres and sub genres, encouraging me to eat fiber and discouraging me from eating too much or poor choices. But what it really did was help me see the connection between intake and output of calories. It helped me to see that when I took a walk, my net calorie intake would shrink from the calories burned and I would end the day having consumed 1600 but only showing 800 or so. What a motivator.
Calorie King is a subscription thing these days so I’ve let it go. I invested 3.99 in Livestrong. While it doesn’t break everything down into pie graphs and it doesn’t track the vitamin/mineral/fiber content I’ve taken in daily, it does show me how my calories are being consumed. It helps to keep me accountable. It reminds me of portion sizes. It makes me consider whether I should eat the tablespoon of peanut butter or the endless pile of celery. It subtracts my calories burnt for exercise based on how much I weigh right now (like, I burn more than Bradley because I weigh muchly more than he and have to carry all that around). But mostly it just keeps me accountable and that is unmatchable motivation.
There are others that have a community attached but the apps don’t attach and I’m an iPhone and iPad girl so I’m cool with Livestrong. 🙂
I am a weightloss warrior. I got chubby as a tween and have never been able to break completely out of that mold ever since. But this time? This time I’m fighting clean and I’m fighting for more than just a smaller dress size. This time I’m fighting my weight for my family, for my life, for longevity AND the smaller dress size.
In my early thirties I learned that my unique set of hormonal imbalances and insulin issues coupled with my skyrocketing weight were a recipe for diabetes by forty. Heart disease runs in my family. I was lethargic, exhausted and unmotivated. Then I couldn’t get pregnant with my second baby. One day I was driving home from work and I heard a song. A totally cheesy song that landed in my life at the exact right moment. The song outlines the life of a man, stepping quickly from childhood through the different stages of adulthood to having but a moment left as he turns 100 to look back and see the richness in his life… And I realized that at my pace I didn’t have 100 to look forward to. I had anywhere from 10-30 years ahead of me if i was lucky. If I wasn’t lucky I could end up leaving my husband a widower at 40. Then I thought of that little three year old girl I had the privilege of holding each night and how I wanted to watch her grow up, how I wasn’t going to give that to her, how I was going to miss out on everything unless I got my act together. And the baby- how I wanted to complete our four-square with one more squealer.
So I decided. I picked family over fat and became driven and determined to lose enough weight. I was quiet about it at first, fearful that I would fail and wanting to do so privately. but it worked. I only needed to lose 5% of my weight to up my chances of pregnancy, but I got on a roll and ended up losing about 60 pounds. I felt great. Bradley and I were a machine! A team! We walked together, ran together, planned meals, ate healthy and admired our emerging bodies. I thrilled at no longer being over 100 pounds heavier than him! Life was great! We went to Disneyland and upon our return I found out I was pregnant. Goal achieved.
Although pregnant, I refused to give in to gaining weight. I decided to gain no more than necessary and I was going to be a workout mama throughout the pregnancy. Then I bled a little and decided to spend the remainder of the pregnancy on the couch. I didn’t gain weight at all during my second pregnancy because I had gallstones and hours-long attacks so I didn’t eat very much at all for the nine months. As soon as I had my gall bladder surgery though I started eating peanut butter and didn’t stop, pretty much, until I weighed almost as much as the first time I started losing weight. I had plantar fasciitis and stopped working out. I hit a horrible weight milestone and stopped gaining just shy of 20 pounds of my original starting weight (I think- my scale stops at a certain number so I don’t know how far over I was…). I needed to do something. So I started small.
I started anew about two years ago now. I’ve been on the ‘Slowest Diet in the World’ ever since. That means that I generally lose 1-2 pounds a month with a motivated 10 pound loss thrown in for good measure from time to time. I have allowed myself to backslide during holidays and birthdays so I have gone up and down a whole lot – really losing about 150-170 at this point if I include all the up and down.
In January I finally decided enough is enough. I need to ditch this fat and just get it GONE. So I decided to challenge myself to losing forty pounds before I turn forty in October. I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but this seems like a totally reasonable goal- that puts me at losing four pounds a month. I should be able to do that! I started reading blogs of people who have lost 100 pounds in a year and am very motivated to start cruising on this project!
My purpose here is to have a place to keep myself in check. Here I can lament the times I’m not doing so great and I can crow when things are going well. I can tell myself motivating things and look at my progress as it unfolds. I may seem self obsessed, but I have to be. I have to obsess and talk and think about losing weight so I can stay motivated. Come along with me if you like!