I’ve been doing really well this week. I ran a couple of times, I went roller skating, we went for walks and I was the best little calorie counter and healthy eater that there ever was. Well, maybe not that ever was, but certainly satisfactory to me. My effort paid off, too. Even though I’m in PMS beast-mode (Seahawks ain’t got nothing on my PMS mode…), even though I usually retain water and gain fat this week, even though I want to stuff food into my cheeks like a hamster during this week, I still lost a pound. That’s how good of a kid I was! Woo-hoo!
Before the holidays I wrote to my colleagues at work, just kind of throwing it out there what I’m doing with my body project and all, and I also asked if people wanted to form a kind of, well, a support group is the best word for it, I guess. Our group is called the ‘flourishing fish’ in connection to our fish philosophy we have at my school. Yesterday I invited them all to my classroom for a lunch, the purpose of which was simply to put a face to the other folks who have a similar health-focus, interested in making a health shift or continuing a positive direction they are heading. I’m telling you what, it could have been all awkward and stuff, but it was so fun! We came together and were able to safely state what it is that we are doing and the direction we would like to go in. We talked about the things that help us and motivate us, and one of the universals was that when you know someone else is working out, we want to as well. When someone asks us if we are working out that night, it encourages us to do just that. It was especially nice to realize we are all in the same boat, time crunched and trying to seek a balance. It was so refreshing to talk with those ladies and find that community. It was a small thing, but I truly feel like belonging with those people is a huge step in the right direction.
…Have I mentioned how much I just love my new school? LOL!
As an aside, I actually think it is kind of a smart thing to start fresh at a new workplace from time to time if you can. It gave me the opportunity to start fresh with new people and fall in love with a new place all over again… And we all know how fun it is to fall in love…
Tis happened as soon as everyone left. This bag of pretzels fell out of my cupboard and went everywhere. I think it’s time to reorganize.
In the past I’ve talked a bit about motivators and presents I offer myself for a job well done or goal reached. In the past, I chose things like boots, a spa day, eyelash extensions- things that made me feel good, but really, I wasn’t motivated by those activities to lose weight. They never altered the path of the cookie to my mouth. They were just kind of a trophy at the end. I didn’t think external motivators worked for me.
I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG!
I needed my boys, apparently. I needed the New Kids on the Block.
I have to tell you, I’m so weird about them. When I was a kid, I initially liked them because my best friend did. I picked Donnie* by default because he wore a peace sign and I strongly wanted to identify as a green peace-peacekeeper-environmental-hippie type, but really, boy bands fit nowhere into that. However, just like the constant radio play of Prince’s When Doves Cry in 6th grade made me acclimate and eventually like that very song I hated, NKOTB grew on my like a fungus. I just couldn’t shake it. I was listening to The Cure, REM, Soft Cell, Depeche Mode, Erasure, Pet Shop Boys… And the New Kids. They were my dark master. I tried to be ok with it by including a picture of them on my notebook collages, next to my other true love, The Pet Shop Boys, but I was always mortified when anyone saw the New Kids, hidden down there in the corner near cooler, more appropriate bands.
I was so happy when I got over them. I remember sitting in paperstaff, listening to people mock them as their upcoming Magic Summer Tour came around in 1990. Who wanted to cover that story? I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I was going- a 16 year old senior in high school. The concert came and went, and when they left town they finally vacated the majority of my heart and thoughts as well. Through the years, I would jokingly tell people that I used to love them. It came in handy for those two truths and a lie kinds of games- no one would ever suspect I ‘used to ‘ like them.
The rest of the story you know. I decided to take a walk down memory lane at their concert for my 40th birthday, and when they invited me to just let go and have fun, I did. I loved that concert like the self-conscious 16 year old in me could not and finally became a blockhead for life. I let go and crushed on those boys hard, screaming with glee as they, sang, danced, bared their abs and shook their booties, I waved my arm in the air for Hanging Tough and bought in. When I left the concert this time, I brought them home with me and I haven’t strayed too far since.
I still think I’m a big dork for liking, nay, adoring the New Kids, I especially dislike their name, but they do something for me, for us. I see through them, now and know that they are playing a part. They are playing the part of the doting husband, the adoring boyfriend, the guy who loves his lady and sometimes we need to hear that from someone. So I’m happy they do that for people who need it. They don’t take themselves too seriously anymore and they seem like just really nice guys.
I’m going on and on about them, I realize. This is a long story to get to the point that I am totally using their concert as motivation unlike I’ve ever done before. I consider eating something or skipping a workout, and immediately I remind myself thinking about my deal: either in the 180’s or resting assured in the knowledge that I did everything in my power. I am always making the right choice, knowing they are looming right in front of me. I need to do everything I can. Everything. I’m pretty hard on myself and I will feel guilty partaking in my unknown whatever it might be bonus if I really feel like I’ve not done my best. I’m excited for warrior week- it will be that many pounds closer to seeing my boys… Maybe even at an after party…
*sorrynotsorry! I am a woman after all…