Today marks day number seven of the Whole 30 and guess what? I’m doing great! I am so proud of myself, I haven’t cheated by eating off plan on purpose once. Not once! And there were opportunities… Like when I smelled Doritos and had to actively redirect my brain to focus elsewhere. Or when I came home to Friday night pizza night and I couldn’t participate. Each time I’ve had to pull up my big girl panties then seek out my satisfying alternative. They do exist and I’m in shock at how well all of this seems to be going.
When I think about why this seems easy it comes down to me being the kind of person who does really well with defined boundaries. I like having things and practices on and off the list. As a vegetarian, I’m used to looking at a menu and having a very small selection. As a fat girl, shopping was limited to very few stores with very little square footage dedicated to my person. I had to make do. Refocus. Try a different route.
It’s working, too. I feel good. I’m not tired or spacey. I’m not hungry more than normal. The strangest thing? With the exception of eggs, it’s vegan. I’ve always wanted to try being vegan but was afraid to do it. Now I’m learning that it’s not so hard and the eggs are my least favorite part of any meal. On top of that, I weighed in at 230 today which means I’ve lost nine pounds since 1/1/18!
I feel so happy to be back to myself again. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling a bit lost. My identity seemed in flux and I wasn’t too sure what to think about myself. I felt myself morphing back into my old self and I felt powerless to her, my inner fat girl. This fresh start was just the perfect thing to redirect myself with a new plan. My previous way of doing things kept leading me back through a cycle where I’d be successful for two or three days then I’d trust myself to make smart choices. That inevitably turned into problematic habit building and I’d end up losing any momentum I got in those three days at the beginning! This time I feel like I’m back. For realz!