So… This was the good shot from the set. No, you may NOT see the others. I just snapped them real quick as we were trotting along, that magnificent, beautiful husband and I, and I didn’t bother to see if one was better than the rest. Oh well. But my husband? Meow.
We did 3.6 in 41 minutes, though the last .4 was walked. I paced slower this time, pulling our speed down to 11:00ish for all three miles. For some reason I had a really hard time catching a complete breath. I was doing fine, but it made me anxious enough that I stayed really careful and didn’t push at all.
Today my scale read 244.2! Finally going down. It is weightloss warrior week, after all.
I realized this weekend that I haven’t made any firm new goals of late. My diet is a non-issue. I suppose I could work more vegetables into it, but who can’t. I keep on my calories and when I ‘cheat’ it is within my allowances. My exercise is pretty spotless – I’m exercising hard every other day with a mid-level aerobic and weights on the off days. I’ve been making sure to rest when my body hits a stress point and I seem to be doing well.
I think my immediate goal this week is to work more whole grains into my diet. While I do a pretty good job, I should be making sure I’m loading up on more oatmeal instead of cereal, brown rice instead of white, that kind of thing. I also need to get back on the drinking water. Caffeine is so appealing that I fell off the wagon and into iced tea-land. But I don’t drink straight up iced tea- I like the crystal lite kind which has sodium in it, not to mention a plethora of other crap that is not good for me. So there you have them- water and super strict food. If all goes well this week, I might be in the 230’s by next week. We’ll see. I wouldn’t mind sitting at 238 for the next little bit…
After our successful hiking adventure the other day, we Lj’s decided to hit the trail again before we forgot what it felt like to have The grit under our feet and the tree boughs overhead. We were planning to head to the mountains to gain some altitude, but by the time we rolled outta bed this morning, got our business taken care of and were ready it was late afternoon so we decided to save Wallace Falls for another day.
Instead, we headed to our near, dear and always beautiful neighborhood State park: St. Edwards. This park is amazing because, while it is well used, it has many trails with tons of indigenous wildlife. It is a park you can get lost in and it is incredibly close to us and Seattle. We feel lucky to have such a resource so nearby.
Today’s hike took about an hour. We were slow, but the trail was steep and I was a little sore in my joints yet from my runs this week. We made it to the water’s edge where we threw a stick for Martha for a bit before heading back up the trail. It was steep! Like this:
Isn’t it funny that when you’re there, in the thick of it, an activity or task will seem insurmountable, but then when you show someone the picture you’re like, “hmmm… That is NOT as steep as it FELT!”
I promise you. It was a mile hike straight downhill followed my the same steep incline uphill for a mile. We were all sweaty by the time we got to the top, and along the way? Gorgeous. I’m lucky to live in this state.
I’m thinking today that I’m losing all of my collected PMS water weight. Finally. Hopefully I’ll get a decent weigh in tomorrow. Aside from that though, I have to start believing I’m gaining muscle alongside the fat loss. I have to. I’m seeing changes everywhere except on the scale. I feel amazing. I know I’m doing everything right. No cheats, daily exercising, I’m always eating a solid, healthy diet…. I’ll just keep focusing on the fitness and hope that the fat burns off sooner or later.
Bradley surprised me today by texting to ask me to take a run with him this afternoon. He said he had two miles in him. That sounded good to me. I reminded him that I’m slow. Like sloooowwww. He said mostly he wanted to be with me and exercise is exercise.
I was a little glad that he was out of breath at my pace. It made me feel a little less lame.
As we rounded the corner of the big block we started picking up a little speed. As we ran by our house, Bradley stopped briefly to check on the kids and I ran ahead. And when I say I ran ahead, I mean I sprinted ahead. Down the hill, as fast as I could. I know it was downhill, but it was pretty cool to learn what my body feels like when I go fast without being scared of hurting myself or falling or getting too tired or…
When we came home I saw that being with my man makes me go faster. Not because he pushed me harder or anything. It just happened. I was really happy to be down in the 10’s for my average!
After we got home Bradley started telling me how proud he is of me. He told me how I really seem invested. How I obviously push myself hard. How I’m serious and he can see it. And again, how proud he is of me. I love him so much. Those words, that respect he offered me, it just means so much coming from him.
I haven’t lost any weight in a long time. I’m really hoping that I’ll see a change happen in the next few days.
Today I proved that I am making smart choices about my health. I hiked to places I have never been- never would have gone before because going down the steep hill means I have to come back up. But today, we went down, up, down, up again, wash, rinse, repeat. I didn’t say no, not once. Not once did I complain, I wasn’t bored, tired or any of those things that I usually am when I look at a trail. I usually get scared of what if’s … Instead, I had the best time ever. Today, I was a mountain goat, herding my little ones over the hill, down the valley, across the crevasse, through the meadow, under the branches and out into the most beautiful vista ever.
It felt magnificent to actually be that person I want to be. The one who can trust her knees and balance, who can trust that she won’t burst a lung on the way up the hill. Who says yes to a hike. The one who won’t embarrass herself by being out of shape and hurting herself by doing so ething stupid- so worried that she would say no and hold her family back- miss the view and the magic. It is wonderful to have broken free of that fear.
On the way home we let the kids pick a place to eat at. We haven’t gone out to eat for months and Jude actually hugged the door of Red Robin on the way in. Bradley and I split a burger and some fries, I ate a salad and after all of our hiking about I was able to stay within the calorie range. It felt really good
I learned a lot today. First, I learned that my activity level greatly improves my family’s quality of life. They go where I go, and where I don’t They don’t go either. it’s not fair to limit them like that. I won’t limit them anymore. I also learned that I can still go out to eat sometimes. I just need to be reasonable.
I like that last picture because I never in a million jillion years would have leaned on Bradley that way in the past. I would have hated for him to have to support my weight. It was nice to lean on him like that. 🙂
As I have been losing weight I have been collecting clothes. I have a ‘set’ of clothes for each size from 26 to 20 of a jean skirt, black and khaki pencil skirt, jeans, and a few sweaters and shirts. (The last time I lost weight I got rid of everything then gained my weight back so I had to re-buy everything. This time I’m won’t need to use it, so I feel like doing the opposite of what I did last time is a good luck charm of sorts. It’s stupid, but offers me comfort.)
Anyhow, last summer, I was swimming in my size 22 denim capris so I thought surely I had bypassed 20 and needed 18’s. Erm… No. I needed the 20’s. Ever the optimist, however, I decided to keep them because I would totally be fitting them by July. Or August. Or September? Ah, yes, September. They ‘fit’, meaning, I could button and zip them but they were so tight they did that weird camel toe thing that is not a camel toe but totally looks like one. TIGHT. Muffin bubbling over the top, my gut suddenly expanding several inches as fat was displaced requiring, not the summery tshirt, but the bulky camouflaging sweatshirt. But, they ‘fit’.
This morning I was digging through my drawers looking for something cute. I found a familiar pair of size 18 capris. They totally fit.
After my run yesterday I felt (like an athlete, like I can do anything) like I should take a day off of exercise. I told myself all day that when my brain started gnawing at me about running that I would jaw back that I need to take a healing day off! I came home and Bradley was really excited to go for a walk. How could I say no to that? So off we went. I laughed to Bradley about how I totally went against my plan. Secretly inside I didn’t count it as a walk even though we kept a great pace and walked for a long time. I counted it as a social activity which was a milestone in a completely different way. Exercise as fun and recreation? Welcome back in earnest!
I did it! I did it! Oh yes I DID IT!!!
What did I do? I didn’t just run 3.1 miles, I sailed by it and by the time I realized what was going on, I ran for 40 minutes for 3.6 miles!
Faster than the speeding light she’s flying
Trying to remember where it all began…
A million years ago, it seems, I decided that someday I wanted to run alongside my husband. He started running, and I looked at him like something so foreign. How was he just… Doing it? How? It was impossible, but alluring. I decided that alongside my life’s goals list of things like growing my hair to my waist and planting a sunflower garden, I wanted to add: be a runner sometime. I wanted to be one of those couples you see all duded up in their runner’s gear, huffing along, side by side down the trail. I decided I wanted to run a marathon. Or a half marathon. Or a 5K. Or SOMETHING that would make me feel like an athlete. I made goals, promises, got ideas. Then I started moving.
She’s got herself a little piece of heaven
Waiting for the time when earth shall be as one
It started with a few steps at the beginning of March, less than two months ago. I remember running to Katy Perry, just to see what would happen. It huuurt! My lungs, legs, knees, hips- it all hurt. The next time I ran thirty seconds. Then a minute. And more and more and more. Finally it was a half mile in 12 minutes, then the mile! It was amazing how fast the time seemed to stack up, a quarter mile seemed like nothing, then a half mile was pretty simple and then the mile, suddenly miles compressed and fused together… It just seemed to take on a life of its own right under my feet.
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
I started adding distance, not worrying about times and signed up for my race. The training had to begin in earnest. I knew I had to persevere and refuse to let fear keep me from making that 3.1 mile goal. I started pushing, going slow, steady, and stopped paying attention to my Strava run tracker. I closed my brain off, pushed away the fear and let my body do it. I let go.
And I feel
And I feel like I just got home
And I feel
And the last moment, right when I figured out I screamed past 3.1 miles (5K) all the way to 3.6 miles was a thrilling one! I raised my hands over my head, crowed like Peter Pan and burst into a sprint the rest of the way home! I was a gazelle! I felt so bouncy, so amazing and so powerful as I cantered the rest of the way home. This body is such a gift.
Quicker than a ray of light she’s flying
Quicker than a ray of light I’m flying
(Thank you to Madonna for singing me home)
Yesterday I forgot to eat. I know. How does that happen? If you asked me before yesterday I would have said that was an impossibility! Like those women who go to the doctor with a tummy ache and come home with a baby? Same kind of thing in my book. What happened was, well, honestly, the PMS gods were holding me hostage and we had to be at a birthday party. I was getting ready while being difficult, bratty and depressed and just somehow never put more than one cube of watermelon and two sips of coffee in my belly. Brilliant. Then I went and swam and played and finally at 2:30 there before me appeared a bowl with ice cream… And it made me sick. No food + ice cream makes me feel icky. So I had to wait for pizza. Pizza, at 3:was good. But even then I was still not hungry. And I never did get hungry yesterday. It was weird. I started wondering if my body has gotten efficient enough at seeking belly (or thing/arm/brain) fat that maybe I just don’t get hungry so much anymore… Ha ha! Wouldn’t that be nice? At least for a little while, to not have an owly-growly tummy yaking at you the second the final shred of yum exits to Intestinal Way.
When I run lately I run with one hand on the leash and the other on my pants. They have been falling down. I have known I need new ones for a while, but it is hard to justify that kind of money on clothes that I only wear for 40 minutes per day. Regardless, I got spoiled by my man who bought me several pairs of size XL(!!!) pants and a few exercise shirts as well. We will see if I like those or not. Yesterday I came home with a transparent shirt- it was so wet with my sweat!
I wear a size 18 now and can shop in the regular clothing section at Target. This is more profound than manny people know. That is where cheap clothes are. I usually have to pay at least 15 for a tshirt or tank top. But now, at Target, I can get one for 6. And there is junk fashion that I probably won’t buy, but I’m gonna try it on. And finally, Gigi and I can shop together. Because I am a size 18, and waaaaayyy down at the opposite end of the scale is my little size 1 daughter! She discovered that she can wear junior shorts today. Someone just got a lil’ more sassy!
I weighed in yesterday at 245.6! Mwah! In love with that number!
I went out today just with the intention of running off some mega calories I consumed at Ben and Jerry’s. I don’t often go off diet, but when I do I make sure to do it exactly in the biggest, most delicious way. So, yes, please to candy bar pie and chocolate crazed deliciousness flavor. It was so rich I was actually one of those people who says, “Oh my, that is just too rich for me,” and then pushed it towards my husband’s mouth. Those people make me feel guilty for finishing my ice cream cone, so please don’t hate me. I’ll be more subtle next time.
Anyhow, I came home and Bradley hemmed and hawed about whether or not he should go running with me (he is losing his extra fat fast!). In the end he chose to save his knee and I headed out with the goal of hitting at least a 1.5. I hit 1.5 and then decided to try for two. But after I looked that last time I just let go. Dan Savage was telling me scandalous things in my ear and I lost track of time, told my body to get over itself and I ran. I ran and ran and ran and didn’t stop. Not once. Not when I ran up the hill, or the next hill, or when I ran up my driveway to get my dog, or crossing the road, or… Ever. I didn’t stop until I hit my porch for the last time and I threw myself on my bench, steam rising from my completely soaked shirt. 2.8 miles in 36 minutes. I ran for 36 minutes and 49 seconds WITHOUT STOPPING.* Me. There is a part of me that wishes I had just continued on around the block one last time so I could finish out the 5k completely, but there is another part of me that is just proud enough and happy to look forward to the inevitable milestone that is bound to happen next week. I can run three miles without stopping now. My 5K is gong to be such a celebration. I cannot wait until the Color Me Rad Race!!! I am so happy that I know I will be successful now. I know I can do it. I kinda just did.
The first picture is at the beginning, the second moments after I arrived home.
*I have decided that it is most important for me to get miles under my feet more than I need to be fast right now. So I am going slow, yes, but I am going further!
Today it was sprinkling beautifully so I had to run. That, and I signed up for my rad race today and thought I had better be getting more mileage under my toes if I’m going to be in condition to run 3.1 miles by August 10th. Yep! I signed up! Gigi and I are running under the team name “Pink Shazam!”
To celebrate, I ran one mile in 11:40 with my girl and the whole family came out for the second mile. Again, my son ‘Flash’ (instead of Dash, now) challenged me to the next post, the next corner, tree, house- whatever, so that mile was walk/ran in intervals, ending up at about 13 minutes. I had a fabulous time.
On a side note…
I get confused with how much I actually eat versus how much I want to eat. Like, tonight I was entering my food into my journal and thought, “Man. I really did it today. I regret my choices, ooh wee!” And then I actually enter in my calories and am in shock when I hit below my targets. I must think about snacks a lot if I imagined I ate them. It amazes me how often I need to tell myself no!
Last night I curled around my pillow with that kind of tired that is reserved for … Well… Really REALLY ridiculously tired people (I was going to say the elderly but that seemed rude, mothers seemed too exclusive, and really, we all get sooo tired from time to time! Exhaustion is not exclusive to one group. Ha ha!). I kept scootching around my bed, adjusting pillows, trying to get rid of this bump under me. No matter where I moved, there it was poking me. When I finally reached down to remove the offending object I realized it was my hipbone. My Hipbone. MY HIP BONE! Ha ha! It’s been a while since I’ve heard from her.
My skeleton IS in there!
Uncomfortable, yet cool.
I was pleased today to see 247 on the scale every time I weighed in. I hit PMS and have been sitting at 249 ever since. It gave me great satisfaction to see the numbers drop back down. Hopefully this will mean another run of pounds dropped in the next short while.
I ran today.
I felt triumphant as I burst out from my driveway. I headed down the hill, keeping stride, warming my muscles, feeling it. I kept my pace, pushed hard, harder, and harder still. Surely, I thought, this was going to be amazing. Surely, I will be in the upper tens, or at least the low elevens… I ended up with 11:48. I ran my route backwards and it was mostly uphill. I have to forgive that! It’s funny how I have gone from being thrilled at running half a block at all, to marveling in wonder at my 12 minute half mile, to being disappointed in an (almost) 12 minute mile. Silly ole me. I have to remember that I’m doing really well, that I only walked about a quarter mile this time (and then it was because my lower back cramped all up), that this is nothing to be ashamed of. I just think I’m feeling the need to start getting miles under me at decent pacing. I want to make sure I’m prepared to run for a few miles before I sign up for a few races. It will come. Patience, Grasshopper.