I found myself curling further and further into myself. I tell you what, this year has really taken some of my sauce: my sass sauce, my awesome sauce and my energy sauce! Sheesh! I find myself in a constant state of recalibration, trying to ‘adjust my dial’ to keep moving forward on my personal health projects. Last weekend I gave up and gave in. I decided that I just don’t have time for this, at all, and my psychological balance is so brittle and fragile right now that pushing myself and relying on determination to drive me forward is making me a nervous, anxious, panic ridden mess. I started failing in the sleeping department, and prior experience tells me that when sleep goes, I’m at the end of my rope: I’m over-stressed.
All week long I sat with that idea: just let it go. Pick it back up in July, after this crazy school year, after the last day, when I’ll have time to run and weigh food and sleep without the structures of work.
And then. On Thursday. I got dressed and my stomach stuck out farther than it has in a really long time. Nothing I put on would disguise it, so I owned it. I made a Facebook post asking anyone and everyone to join in with me on a diet bet! I realized that I really don’t want my muffin top this summer. As much as this is all about health, I also want the hard work I do to be reflected in my appearance! Especially when all the layers come off! I’ve worked too hard to let this all go because I have the most challenging year of teaching in my career, so far! I needed to take control, but I needed help. I needed transparency and I needed to externalize my motivation. I am lucky because I received over 50 responses on my Facebook post from friends and family who want to jump in with me. Wow, right?! It got me a little jazzed, I must confess.
Knowledge is power, right? Sometimes I hate to admit that, but it’s true. Denial is easier, sometimes. 🙃 Once I know how much I weigh, I’m much better about keeping things in check. On Friday I braved the scale. Fully dressed, I weighed 213. Undressed I was 209. While I’m not thrilled to be back at 209 for the bazillionth time, I was sincerely thinking I had blossomed on up to the 220’s, so 209 was a relief. It just makes things feel that much more accessible and achievable.
Today I created my first ever diet bet and invited anyone who wants to join a place at the table. It will start on May 1st and will last for four weeks. As soon as I created it, I got all kinds of excited to get rolling. When two people joined in right away, raising the pot to $75 in the first few minutes, I really got motivated! If you want to play along, flow the link: