Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Yesterday I was watching my kids swim, the wind blew my skirt up and this view caught me by surprise! I can’t ever remember my legs looking like this. Even when I was a teenager and weighed 160, my legs have always run together, the space between non-existent. I can’t help but think that this is a direct result of being a runner.

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Yesterday I pointed out that I noticed some changes in my arms. I went and looked, and if I needed proof that my arms workout is working, I got it! I clearly see changes that sure are motivating me to keep going!

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Cheers!

Idaho

We headed to Idaho this weekend to hang with my Mama since my dad went to catch their year’s worth of salmon in British Columbia over the past few weeks. Just like in Oregon, I made a plan to keep on keeping on with the running and eating and general heathy choices. My Color Me Rad run is coming up in a week or two and, I have to say, it was a really smart idea to sign up for that. JUST to avoid humiliation, I have not let myself slip and stop training. While I know at this point I’m not so much training as maintaining, I feel this drive to just keep pushing. I want to run the whole thing and not walk- depending on my social obligations, of course. I think it will be important for me to keep a race or two in the future to keep me moving. Anyhow…

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(Are you seeing how much I’ve improved my bat wings with all the weight work?! It’s showing!!!!)
This is how I felt after my first run here in Idaho. We left later than I would have liked so we hit the road and the temp was already in the mid 70’s. By the time we got back from our run, the heat was in the upper 80’s, soaring on into the upper 90’s. The run failed to provide me with any shade and there were hills and hills and more hills. I panicked because I had no idea how to prepare myself for what I was running. I didn’t know if I needed to conserve energy for what might lie ahead. So I plugged through, plodded along grouchily, watching the hills fall away behind me knowing I would need to climb them again on the way back.

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My poor attitude passed on to my daughter after I stormily walked up one hill (after I had stopped for a moment and cried from being so overwhelmed).
But more than anything I was super tired from several stressful days of vacation prep, too little sleep and dissonance in my personal life (don’t worry, we’re back in the sweet spot). It just was a poor mix of all the things that make me stress out when I run.

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So…
Today we planned another run. Bradley was super sweet and created a run filled with running back and forth along the lake, keeping it nice and flat. But my legs FELT those hills all day yesterday. I know those hills were only making me stronger, so I asked to do it again. My goals were:
1. Stay positive!
2. Listen to my body. When my ribs compress and feel panicky, I need to stop and walk for a few seconds until the tension leaves.
3. Remember that after the biggest hill, the last mile of the run is all downhill.
Today I walked up the half of two big hills, but I ran the rest of the three miles! I kept smiling and had a great run. Happy is as happy does.
And really, how can you complain when you’re running here?

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Lastly, guess who is staying consistent in the 220’s? According to my parents ‘ scale I’m sitting between 226-228. This makes me ridiculously happy- I’m moments away from making 40 before 40. I want to cry with pride.
๐Ÿ™‚

Bikini

I have a favorite blog I follow called Brittany Herself. I started reading it because the girl is hella funny and I connect to her as a mother, a wife and curvy girl.
Like me, Brittany has gone through some weightloss transformations. She went from a 24 (I think) to a 14-16-18 depending on the brand and stretch, became a model, spokesperson for Land’s End and now is an online celebrity in her own right. Something she’s done time after time is to take her beautiful, curvy body, puts a bathing suit on it and she goes public- at a TED Talk, in Times Square and, most recently, she bikini’d up on her own blog. Whenever Brittany shows her lovely figure I squee and swoon with delight and envy. I love that she stuffs her fear and anxiety away to show the world something they have shuttered away for decades (the curvy, post- childbirth body of a mother).
If you know me well, you know that I am an open book. Ask me a question and I will answer it as honestly as possible. I have strong opinions about bodies, exercise, parenting, sexuality, education, socialization, vegetarianism, environmentalism, religion, politics… My body, after having two kids and accepting husband, is not a temple of privacy. I don’t really care what you see, I just cover it up because society dictates to do so. Truth be told, I’m a bit of a backyard nudist! Ha!
Which brings me to my point…
I hide a lot of my bikini pics from my blog- even though I ALWAYS actually wear one as a bathing suit in private and public! I’ll throw a ‘from the rear’ shot online every once in a while, or a link to a picture to protect the public from my saggy tummy and jiggly thighs without the opportunity to prepare their eyes first, but I don’t care. I realize I’m losing weight, so technically, in my brain, I should have less to ‘worry’ about, as a bigger girl stepping out in skimpy clothes. My problems in a bikini are the sagginess. My belly droops, has curdles, jiggles, shakes AND IT ALWAYS WILL NO MATTER HOW MUCH WEIGHT I LOSE OR HOW MANY CRUNCHES I DO! So, should I never ever wear a bikini? I think not! Swimming in bikinis feels better, you get sun all over, water all over and there’s less drippings from wet bathing suits on the floor from having less fabric. I found this really fabulous picture of a woman online who went from my starting size to a typical bikini size and didnt get surgery. She looks amazing and I hope to be similar…

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(If this is a picture of you and you don’t want it on my blog, don’t hesitate to ask me to remove it!!! I can’t remember where I found this inspiring picture!)
But…
The more I think about it, my wearing a bikini is one of the most political things that I can do. Putting on my bikini during my Oregon vacation was liberating. Scary, exciting and liberating. Putting on a bikini on a public beach invites people to… Well… See me. Judge me. As a fat girl, my size has always been one of the first things that allows people to form opinions about me so I feel incredibly vulnerable stripping down and allowing so much outside visual contact with my wobbly bits.
For the most part, though, everything went remarkably well. I’m sure people noticed me. I know some did, (people would slowly gather around while I splashed in the Pacific, then would disperse once I got dressed, with remarkable consistency) but only one person actually had the gall to snap a picture of me (super obviously, btw. What an ass).

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(This is the woman who snapped one. Fair is fair so I took one of her and she acted like she didn’t see me all of the sudden.)
Initially, I hated to think of how she would share that picture with her friends, pointing out the fat chick in the bikini at the beach. But the other part of me had a sense of pride that I stood there, in all of my 230 pounds, I bent over and dug in the sand, in my bikini, at 230 pounds, body surfing, in a bikini at 230 pounds, even turning cartwheels. In a bikini. At 230 pounds. I allowed people to look at me and see what a normal woman actually looks like. So even if that picture taking woman shares my picture with her friends, even if they laugh at and mock me, it will still be one more opportunity to see and acclimate to the diversity of what a woman’s body can look like.

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I’m hoping that, like Brittany, I can be a pioneer for body acceptance too. I don’t need to go on the Today Show or strip down on stage in front of 100’s of people, but I can be an anonymous presence on the beach who, through exposure, helps to propel the body acceptance movement forward. Cheers!
***
I find it incredibly ironic, btw, that obesity is a huge epidemic in our country and we still are less than flexible with how much skin we allow people to see.

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And seriously, the before and after?! I think I look pretty freakin’ amazing!

Guess what?!

I did not gain while on vacation.
Get this:
I LOST A POUND!
It must have been the excessive walking on sand and walking great expanses of beaches and walking half a mile to pee or wash my hands and shivering all night long and climbing hills and digging holes and running up every trail I could… It was a very active vacation!
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(Giving myself a thumbs up for general awesomeness in self control over food choices and exercise choices)
***
Back on the wagon though.
important point nรบmero uno
We made a return to running this week, of course. I’m finding it hard to find the just right time to run in the summer. Turns out I don’t like running in the early morning. I prefer to sleep. Shocker. I also don’t like running between the hours of 11:AM and 7:PM. I sure you’re seeing the problem here as well. I’ve been solving that issue by just saying screw it, putting on my running shoes and hitting the pavement whenever. Here’s the thing: THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO EXERCISE! I will avoid it – no matter how good I feel when I’m in the run- so I just do it, no matter when. Depending on the humidity, I’ve been surprised a few times about how well it goes.
important point number two
I spent a lot of time over the past couple of weeks looking into how to build muscle mass while also losing weight. There are tricky formulas and mathematical equations relating to my BMI, my BMR and all kinds of craziness, but when it comes down to it, I think a couple of things are key:
A. Eat vegetables, complex carbs and protein. Then, eat more vegetables and protein. Eat some complex carbs, then more protein … You get the idea. At first I balked. I am supposed to be making lifestyle changes, not dieting. Then I realized that for YEARS this is what my doctors have been suggesting to me. This is what diabetics eat like, and with my insulin issues plus being a vegetarian, I really need to work on eating fewer and better carbs. So far it’s going well. I’m not being super strict, but I have definitely shifted over to the fat free cottage cheese and brown rice camp.
B. Drink a low fat/low carb protein shake after working out. I’m resistant as hell to integrating any kind of shake and drinking any kind of calories, but everyone says to do it. Everyone says used in moderation at the right time that its a good choice, so I’m going to try it. The idea is that your muscles need the replenishing juices of the protein shake within 30 or so minutes of working out to get the best muscle build possible. We’ll see.
C. Integrate more anaerobic into my workout. Seems easy… But I love running and hate lifting. I read that the cardio is a great warmup, and I do need it to continue to burn fat, but the muscle build comes from 30-60 minutes of reps AFTER the cardio. So I’m building up to that. So far I’m doing ok, but I’ll admit that I find myself in my bedroom way too often at 10:PM doing curls and crunches because I procrastinated it all day!

Running… In Oregon!

So…
We went to Oregon!
Camping.
Ocean mischeif. All that.
If you want to see the complete awesomeness, you should check out my Instagram. I’m #tamarashazam.
But I’m not here to talk about our vacation madness. I’m here to talk about something that happened on vacation.
I went running!
Squeeee!

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(This collage is my sweaty running face and my return to still-sleeping babies and hubs)
I know. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I’ve always treated vacation like it’s a vacation from pretty much anything responsible regarding health. Eat and drink as much as you want and don’t worry about the calories OR exercise. As if. Exercise? Ha ha! You get that just from walking around, shopping, being cold and sleeping uncomfortably, right?
Of course I’ve seen those ‘overachievers’ who jog around the campsite or actually used their vacation for an enduring, athletic challenge, but Bradley was the first person I ever knew who actually used the gym at the hotel on vacation. He didn’t use it begrudgingly either- no. He would come back and enthuse over or disparage the quality of the gym, the wear on the machines. If it was a good gym, he’d find opportunities to go down two or three times a day to jog the treadmill or try out the elliptical. I was dumbfounded and would hang out watching cable in the dark, air conditioned room while eating and drinking merrily. He’d return and we’d rouse and follow on to our next adventure.
But this time? I packed my running shoes and a set of running clothes. And knowing my past vacation road trip eating habits, I was determined not to come back heavier than I left (232.8). I’ve been pretty careful and I am doing well, I have to say. But part of that reason is because of running and being very intentional about making opportunities to be physical- I’ve dug countless sand castle moats, I climbed 164 stairs, I ran up hill trails, I swam in the ocean, I traversed baby powder like sand and I ran around the camping loops.
Yep, I was that guy. The one we all hate who wakes up at 7:00 and goes for a run around the campsite. The campers are just waking up, rubbing their bleary eyes, possibly hung over, and there I am jogging past them. I don’t judge, but having always been the bleary eyed one in the past, seeing me would make me turn judgement on myself, dislike what I saw and then I would wonder why that person didn’t realize this was VACATION for goodness sake! But run run run I did…
I’ll admit, I didn’t run forever. Or even close. I started out with good intentions of three or so miles but running in the campground is rough! My lungs were burning! I think the moist, ocean air coupled with extensive particulates from campfire smoke made for some thick, pea-soupy breathing. Catching my breath was tricky and my lungs were burning by about a quarter mile in. Not a lot changed after that, so I stopped right at two miles. But I did it. I ran on vacay!

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The other point of interest was how my own desires and impulses have changed regarding ‘treats’ on vacation. In the past, I’ve always been that sucker who is drawn into the candy shop, who yearns for caramel corn and ice cream cones. This trip I didn’t want any of that. We went to Trader Joe’s to load up on healthy snacks before we left, but we returned with most of that stuff unopened. We went to the salt water taffy shop, but my sack is still full of taffy. I got an ice cream cone and could barely finish it. I bought cheese curds, but could only eat a couple before I felt like vomiting. It was weird. What I was way into wasn’t all the crappy junk food, it was the beach and sand castles and body surfing and playing its my kids. Not to mention digging my giant awesome pit.

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It was fabulous.

Saving Myself

Running heart rate
Today I went on my big ole lazy run. We just ran a nice and easy 2.5. I took it slow, as usual, and paid extra special attention to my body, the overheating and all that.* At one point I realized that, while I was sweating up a storm, I wasn’t breathing all that hard. I stopped and took my heart rate only to discover I was at 110. Another time I was at 99. My heart rate was ridiculously slow or my counting was way off.
It put some things in perspective though- my fitness is better than I give myself credit for. I think I have to run sloooow, and sometimes I do. But more importantly is for me to pay attention to my body and run fast when it feels right and slow down when it feels right. Clearly I could/should have pushed myself harder today! When I got home and cooled off I spent some time online looking at data.
First I researched my BMR- my base metabolic rate. I found out I’m on the upper end of the 1700’s. BMR stands for base metabolic rate and is, essentially, the number of calories you would need to sustain your living form if you were completely resting. Like in a coma or sleeping. Then I added my activity level and discovered I need about 2500 calories to sustain myself WITH activity, including exercise. So, to lose the weight I need to be eating less than that. Done.
But I also want to build muscle. I’ve written about my desire to pump up a little as an effort to fill in my baggy skin. Some muscular thighs could be nice, some strong biceps… Don’t worry. I’m a realist! Anyhow, I spent time today researching how to be a vegetarian muscle builder. Thing one they said was to eat complex carbs and protein with two fists of vegetables in every meal. So I suppose that’s a new goal. Tofu, nut butters, eggs and lots of quinoa and brown rice were suggested. The one thing all the sites said was that muscle definition is built in the kitchen, not the gym. I need to take my eating way more seriously. I’m going to try to plan meals in advance and do as much prep as possible to avoid looking for something to eat- the something will already be prepped and ready!
The other thing they said online was to do cardio, yes, for 30 minutes or so 3-4 times a week but focus a lot on the muscle building for 30-45 minutes per day 4 or more times a week. So the cardio is just to get warm and rolling, the anaerobic should be the focus, according to them.
I’m not saying I’m going to follow this to the T in any way, it just serves to show that I need to definitely do more weights and focus less on so much cardio. Today I ran for 45 minutes and rode my stationary cycle for 40. Not bad, but I did no weights…
To that end, Ive made a new goal to do 10 crunches per day. I know, measly, right? The idea is to make sure I have a minimum goal and if I’m totally being a lazy bum I can just do the 10. But my hope is that I will decide as long as I’m down there I might as well make it worth my while. ๐Ÿ˜‰
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***
To blog or not to blog…
I’m feeling a little lost in this space right now. Perhaps my own motivation and determination are running low, but sometimes I sit here late at night wondering why I’m putting all this out here. Why I’m baring my everything to everyone who cares to look. I guess I’m feeling vulnerable and am wondering if this is smart or worthwhile.
Yes, I know the answer to that. I personally get a lot out of processing. Maybe I’m just not being as honest as I want to be.
(Okay, I ate four of those ridiculously yummy m+m cookies today and that is not a unique experience for me during the summer. I am often heard saying, “I just don’t lose weight well in the summer.” I worry that I’m buying into that myth, though, and really I just need to get my ass in gear and lose the final seven flipping pounds for my forty before forty. It’s hard to own those things aloud to the general public. I’m trying to be Wonder Woman – well, Tamara Shazam, really- and feel like I’m falling short here.)
***
*We are headed to the ocean in a few days and I realized I have to run with my compression tanks on or suffer the consequence of a rashy fat crease in a bikini. I don’t need more things to feel self conscious about so I decided to wear the tank during my runs for the next couple of days.

Vindicated!

You know how I get all worried about Bradley running slow to stay back with me? You know how I spend all of this time worrying about holding him back? Not that HE ever complains. quite the opposite- he keeps telling me how much he loves to run with me, so he is not the problem at all… Well, yesterday he went for a run without me. I was fine with that. I walked with Jude and had a knee that was talking to me (saying, “Ouch? Maybe?”) so I played it cool and stayed behind. Upon his return he told me he likes running with me better. Why? Because he burns more calories. ๐Ÿ˜€

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HE BURNS MORE CALORIES WHEN HE RUNS WITH ME. I feel vindicated! relieved! It is because I run forever. When he runs a 5K he does it in half the time I do and that results in just a couple calories fewer burnt. I no longer feel guilty AT ALL that I make him run at my fat burning pace. Turns out, it is his fat burning pace too and he hit a huge summer milestone today!
The other thing we tried today was having him run about 30 feet ahead of me. It turns out that when he stays just in front of me or right next to me I get all stressed out that I try to keep up with him in case he says anything and I want to be able to hear him. Of course I also don’t want to hold him back, but I think it’s the listening component that I get overwhelmed with. Staying a good distance away allows me to not feel like I’m drafting him and it allows me to focus a little more deeply on my run and pace rather than keeping up and remaining a polite listener.
***
Bradley bought me the pink jammies a few years ago. I have always wanted footies and, hey, they were in a size 2X for 6.50. He bought more than one pair and they didn’t fit. I was sad and they didn’t make it back to the store in time so they remained at our house. We were able to unload enough of them so I am down to one pair, and today as we were cleaning out the garage I found these and put them on… They FIT! Woohoo! Watch out school spirit pajama day…
Sometimes it’s the small things. Like footsie jams on a 39 year old woman.
***
I did a better job on eating whole foods and eating clean today.
Prunes, carrots, chick peas, almonds, tomatoes and celery all made it down the hatch. Way better than yesterday. Score for me!
***
The vindication is against me, btw, and my silly self sabotaging brain. ๐Ÿ™‚

Walk

We’re heading out to go camping fairly soon and as I announced this to my kids I also asked if we should make anything special for the trip. My son asked to make cookies… With M+M’s!
I pondered this a bit. My purpose in asking if there were any treats or special things on the trip was to kind of be in control. I know there’s going to be junk- it’s camping. But I’m thinking it doesn’t have to be overly junky. So a batch of cookies makes perfect sense as the thing to bring to treat ourselves with. My smartie pants daughter killed two birds with one stone by saying we can use them for s’mores too.
Anyhow, justifying m+m’s was hard for me so I made a bargain with my son: we could make cookies with m+m’s in them if we walked to the store to buy them. Kind of to strike the balance between the caloric cost and the exercise. He agreed, which shocked me, and within 30 minutes we were headed out the door, hand in hand.

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It was so sweet, to chat with my boy as he collected flowers, leaves, feathers and other treasures. I taught him about helicopters, the seeds from maple trees that twirl around as gravity pulls them to the ground and I got to see him being his Daddy, saying hello to any person he happened by. At Starbucks he engaged the barista in a lengthy conversation about his favorite Adventuretime characters (favorite hero: Jake, favorite baddie: Ice King) and after using the nastiest bathroom ever I heard him cackle and chortle over the horrible jokes that just kept rolling off his tongue. Lovely.
Three miles later, the cookies got made, tasted and are going in the freezer in the morning. Cookies are a weakness of mine and I cannot have them sitting out. I will eat them all. Especially these ones; they’re so yummy!
***
I was talking with Bradley about how I really need to kick things into gear. There’s no good reason why I am stagnating except my poor choices. I keep hitting just a little over my caloric intake and I’m in maintenance mode. Coupled with me not making the best choices (lots of carbs lately, not so many fruits or veggies) means that I am just not losing no matter how much I exercise.
My goal as of this very moment is to make better choices for my body nutritionally. More fiber, more fruit, more veggies. I think I need to go to the store to load up. I did discover prunes recently, i think they are so good (I’m surprised too)! Presently in our kitchen we are at one apple, one bag of carrots and one bunch of celery. Lettuce in the garden, onions in the pantry. I want a variety of fruits, some broccoli, mushrooms and peppers! Then we can get fancy.

Hangin’ Tough

Today, this has nothing to do at all with being a weightloss warrior or runner or anything. Today’s post is a result of last night’s activity that resulted in a subsequent day of couching, writing and iPad surfing and will also result in me crashing to sleep by 8:00 tonight because I was up until 4:AM last night and was on a ‘midnight’ potty trip at 6:30 this morning when Jude woke up. ๐Ÿ™‚
Parenthood plus New Kids has me Hangin’ Tough.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
{this is a direct copy from my family blog}
***
Many many moons ago, when I was a young teenager, I was bitten by the boy band bug. It started innocently enough… My friend liked this band called New Kids, but I knew they weren’t for me. I was the kind of girl who ironically listened to Alabama, Neil Diamond, Elvis and Kenny Rogers alongside The Cure, Soft Cell, B-52’s and Pet Shop Boys. But my dirtiest secret was that I harbored a deep love of pop music. I regularly (secretly) listened to Madonna, George Michael, Whitney Houston and anything else they played on KUBE or K-PLUS. Anyhow, my friend, Theresa, played the New Kids for me and I decided that if I HAD to pick one I GUESSED it would be Donnie. I bought the poster. The rest is history.

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A few years ago the New Kids came around on tour. They were with the Backstreet Boys and, really, I wasn’t terribly into seeing them perform together. I was an older fan – 16 while the rest of the audience was 10-13- so BSB was really something I never engaged with. More than that, I had pushed my New Kids phase to the far recesses of my mind where you keep those embarrassing anecdotes that you roll out during those Q&A moments when you need to tell something surprising about yourself. New Kids have been my go-to. Bradley asked me if I wanted to go to the concert. Of course I didn’t. I was over them. Right? Then my cousin Cassie went and I realized my folly. I missed my one chance at seeing ‘The Happy Boys’ (as my dad called them) one more time in my lifetime. I swore that if they returned, I would attend their concert no matter how embarrassing.

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This past weekend my cousin Cassie, again, flew to LA to catch NKOTB, again, and I remembered that promise. I steeled myself, looked deep into my soul and realized a couple of things:
1. I don’t really care if you think NKOTB suck. I think they suck too. But I love THEM.
2. It’s okay for me to like pop music. I love pop music. I hate that I love it, but my brain hooks on stuff like Katy Perry, Wham, Taylor Swift and all of that in the same way it hooks on Iron and Wine, Decemberists, Death Cab and other more adult/contemporary/indie rock. I love them all SO much. They can coexist in my musical vernacular beautifully. (Seriously, you should see some of the odd combinations of music that I run to.)
3. For some unexplainable reason I just really wanted to go. It was IMPORTANT to me.
So I impulsively went online, did a little research, and bought tickets. And I didn’t buy the cheap seats this time. I decided to live my midlife crisis out in style and went to the third tier price point, though a part of me wishes I just did it big and spent the 300 on a front row seat… but I digress. First I tried to solicit a few friends, but there were no takers. I could tell who really wanted to go though. They kept texting me song lyrics and wishing me the best. To all of you who didn’t go-
YOU MISSED OUT!!!!
I’m not kidding.

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It was kind of funny, really, because as soon as I bought the tickets for Gigi and I, I had buyer’s remorse. Then I also went and bought a greatest hits album. Nostalgia had made the music sound a lot better in my head than I remembered. It was pretty bad, and even after the concert I still think a lot of their old crap is still crap. I played it to an unimpressed Gigi who turned out to not be terribly excited about going to the concert…
But…
After Boyz II Men…
After 98 degrees…
It all started with Donnie Wahlberg’s voice telling me that this was our night. That I planned for this. I waited 25 years for it. I worked for it. I earned it- the right to own the night and have the best time.
And he was so smart to say that. It was like an invitation- let’s all pretend, for an evening, that it really is 25 years ago and I’m 16 and they are 20 and we all were screaming and dancing and having the best time.
I’m not kidding when I tell you I almost cried in that moment. I seriously had to get ahold of myself. Then I just slipped into it, easy as that, rose to my feet and started screaming.
They played old stuff, new stuff, I didn’t care. I was so in the moment. My girl and I had our hands up, hollering, clapping, waving. I held her in my arms so she would have a perfect view and we danced and sang and had one of the very best times in my life. Ever.
As it was winding down, I felt tears threaten me again. I didn’t want to let the magic go. I realized that when they eventually end up in Vegas (I think that’s an inevitability at this point) I will totally go see them again.

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Observations from the show:
1. It was really funny to see 98 Degrees shuffling around with their boy and moves with their thinning hairlines and spreading midsections. Adorable in that “My dad wears ‘hip’ Hawaiian shirts” kind of way.
2. I thought a lot about Jon- the New Kid I wrote a typed 108 page story about wherein we got married and started a family. He has severe anxiety about performing and last night he totally just dialed it in. No pelvic thrusts. No major showcased moves. No solos. I was sad to see the former front runner for husband and father of my children so apathetic. He wasn’t awful or anything, it just clearly was not where he wanted to be. I wonder if this will be his last tour. On top of that, he lives as an openly gay man now and I wondered how weird it was to be singing to all of these women about how much he loves them and wants to be with them. Compound that with the ‘girls’ wearing Tshirts and holding signs espousing their love for him… I would feel awkward and the need to explain all the time my status and, that really, they should focus their attentions elsewhere… Perhaps that’s why I’m not a gay man. In a boy band.
3. Sir Mix A Lot came to the show and provided me with the opportunity to explain what ‘Baby Got Back’ means to my daughter as about ten ripe and round women stood onstage shaking their juicy butts.
4. Donnie Wahlberg is a total exhibitionist. I saw his butt crack all night. He showed us his abs a million times. He had his hand down the front of his pants on more than one occasion. He grabbed his crotch over and over. He made out with women in the audience. His pelvic thrusts were the thrustiest and most copious. It was pretty cool.
5. NKOTB done growed up. Donnie wasn’t the only thruster. They all thrusted. Then for good measure they thrusted more. Annnnd, what’s a little more thrusting when there’s already so much pelvic thrust in the room. THRUST! It was the defining move of the night. Except Jon. He did not thrust. He stomped. And while they definitely all look like they’re in their forties now, at least three of them made certain the audience knew they still had abs of steel. Gigi was mortified when I screamed with glee as they tore through their tanks. It was a pleasant moment for me, horrible for her.
6. Joey brought his middle son, Griffin, out onstage to start singing Tonight. It was really cute and was Guinevere’s best moment.
7. The Tacoma Dome is really hot and humid when filled with hundreds of screaming women in their thirties and forties.
8. My daughter is a really fun kid. I’m excited for years of this kind of stuff in the future. We did our hair, got dressed up, went out to eat, danced sang, and had the best time ever for her first concert. I love that kid. It wouldn’t have been the same with anyone else.
9. I fit the concert t-shirt. For the first time my worlds united (enough disposable income + small enough body) presenting a glorious option of spending a ridiculous sum on a cheap tshirt. I love the shirt. ๐Ÿ˜€
(I’m wearing it right now!!!!!)

Five Miles

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Today I ran five miles.

Five Miles
If we want to get technical (which I do) I actually ran 5.2 miles.
I feel good!
Maybe I’ll celebrate with a midlife crisis concert tonight. Yes. Yes I will.
Get ready, Donnie, Jordan, Jon, Joey Mac and Danny. I’m curling my hair and I’m on my way!