I made a goal last week to stay on track, push myself to work out harder and to continue to eat healthy food. I also made the goal of making it out of my current decade by this weekend (meaning to go through one ten pound set like 79-70). I’m happy to report that I made the first part. My practice was great. I hit my calorie targets every day and stayed very active. But I didn’t lose anything. In fact I gained three. I’m all bloaty.

I remember back when we lived in Bellingham. I was at my one of my highest weights and having one of my most wacky hormonal times. Suddenly I threw myself into a weightloss regime. Bradley joined me. We were both determined and, while he steadily lost weight, eating the same calories I gained a pound or two. Back then, it was enough to take my steam and I acquiesced to a lifetime of big.

But when it mattered more, I had more determination. When I was chasing getting pregnant with Jude, the cost was so high if I didn’t succeed that I just had to do it. It wasn’t a choice, it was an expectation. I was successful, of course. I remember, at one point, sitting for an entire month without losing anything. I would become frustrated then suddenly four or five pounds would disappear and I would know it wasn’t all for naught.

The stakes are high this time too. I only have one life. I want to live it long and well.

To stay on target I just have to keep it in my head that it will all pay off. And while that scale number may not change, my pants fit differently (when I’m not bloaty), my skin looks and feels different, I’m getting in shape and I feel good about what I’m doing.

My goal for this weekend is the same as last – eat well. Work it out. Play with the kids. Sleep. Ignore the fact that the scale is not moving in the right direction! Maybe consider stopping looking at the scale so much!
I just went and looked at the day I started with running intervals. It was only ten days ago. I’ve gone from barely running 30 seconds to jogging for 12 minutes straight in ten days.


It is so frustrating to keep stepping on the scale this week and not show a loss. Instead, the scale shows a small gain. I’ve been working out so hard and eating soooo cleanly! How am I showing a minor gain and no loss?!

Common sense says there are normal weight fluctuations with water. I’m working out really hard and I’m working pretty much every muscle possible on my body. When that happens, one’s body goes into a little bit of shock, the muscles grab a little water and hold it, they bloat and become a little puffy. I know all of this.

Common sense also says I can see and feel it in the clothes I’m wearing. My tummy actually is getting smaller. My shape is emerging a little more. Because, seriously, since January 1st, I’ve lost 16 pounds (grand total of 85 lost so far) and some of my clothes are beginning to show that by looking huge on me. That’s nothing to sneeze at right now.

But I still want to see the progress with the smaller number on that scale! Boo-hoo.

Weekend Win

So far I’m beating the weekend doldrums.
I’m winning!
How do I know?
This morning I’m showing a loss of 2 pounds for this week!

The best part was when I stepped on the scale and saw my new number then looked around my (vacant) bathroom for someone to smile at. Of course I only saw myself in the mirror. But my eyes caught my own and my face couldn’t help it – I smiled the biggest smile at myself, and before I knew it I was in this really silly feedback loop of smiling at myself, laughing, fist pumping and mouthing, “You go, girl!” At myself. Yes, I REALLY did all of this. (‘You go girl.’ I know.)

I’m so happy.
What a glorious Sunday morning so far.