We ran yesterday, then followed that up with a walk, then another walk. My daughter commented to me that we had a very exercisey day. My goal, when we headed out, was to just run. Lately I have been getting unnecessarily concerned about running long distances. If the distance is greater than about two miles it seems like I get worried about wearing out. My goal at the track yesterday was to intentionally lose track of how many times I went around, and it would seem that fate was on my side and my tracking app crashed not once, not twice but THREE TIMES! Blah!
At the end of it all I ended up running just a touch more than a 5K (according to my crashed app) at about ten minute miles. I was really happy to have made that distance and that time without thinking I was pushing too hard! I needed that to gain some confidence. After my spotty exercise record over the past few weeks, it was nice to prove to myself that I’ve still got it.
One of my favorite things that happened yesterday was that while we were at the track there was this group of 20-something year old men playing football. They had such zeal for being out on the field. Clearly they were enjoying the brisk, sunny, spring weather just like we were. For some reason I felt all proud of those guys. I know how hard it is to peel yourself off of the couch on a Sunday to go be active. They all did it and came together in the name of physical play and fun! It is so easy to submit to the couch and be lazy, but there we all were, at the track on a Sunday.
Furthermore, in non-scale victories, it was the first time I felt like I belonged at the track. I didn’t feel ashamed, like I was going to slow or that my ass jiggled to much. I didn’t feel like those guys were going to mock me or think about the fat, forty-something running around the track. I felt like I brought my own, did my thing, and didn’t really think about them. Afterwards, Bradley apologized that he left me and ran a few laps all fast and speedy style, leaving me to be possibly overcome with insecurities… But it wasn’t even a concern for me this time. What a great feeling!
That said, I’ve always believed I belonged at the track, intellectually. I just used to over-worry and over-think what others might have been thinking about me. It was a very real fear for a very silly non-concern.
Derpy run face pic of the day. I love to mock these, but secretly (you know, the secret is held between me and the entire internet, but we’ll go ahead and call it a ‘secret’, m’kay?) I’m proud that I even have a derpy run face at all. Those flared nostrils and open mouth? They just tell the world that I’m breathing hard because I’m working hard. If I were a dog, I would be panting. My red cheeks, forehead, chin, neck and entire body just show that my blood is coursing madly through my system, oxygenating my cells, driven by my healthy heart. I love my derpy run face pics!
But even still…