Magic

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Today we went on a hike at St. Edward’s Park. If you live in the Seattle are and have never been, make a point to do so. It’s like Central Park or something- this vast oasis on the outskirts of the city that edges Lake Washington. There are great trail sand a beautiful playground… Anyhow. We went there. Guinevere and I have enjoyed running on the trails the last few times we’ve gone hiking so we asked Bradley if he minded if we ran ahead. We took off like rockets and had the best conversation about 10th birthday party decorations, her dream wedding, what her sweet 16 party will be like and the fact that her husband better be a vegetarian because she is really not interested in dealing with carcass. She is nine. I’m nuts about her. We got to the lake and, while we waited for the boys to emerge from the forest, we sat on rocks at the water’s edge as she told me how much she enjoys running and talking with me. I told her that I hope this is something we get to do until I’m a very old lady. I really do. It was magic today.

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I’m consistent at 228 now(!!!) which feels really good. My clothes are starting to fit different again and I’m feeling the subtle shift. I’ve been a stud (let’s face it) on my exercise. I’ve been hitting the weights like a machine- two days on and one off. My arms are starting to look different already. It’s amazing! I’ve been running and riding the elliptical at really solid, fat-burning paces like a boss. Most importantly, I’m calling on my strategy of whispering ‘determination’ whenever I get tempted lately. It’s working pretty well. It didn’t last night when the frozen cookie dough somehow ended up in my mouth, but otherwise I’ve been simply amazing*! Wahoo! Three cheers for moving forward again!
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I was looking at the picture of me standing on the branch. I threw that up there like it ain’t no thang, but privately there are two things happening:
One- fat girls don’t stand on branches. I’m standing on a branch there like its no biggie… Because it’s not a big deal anymore. But it is a big deal that it’s not a big deal. Knowwhatimean? Woohoo!
Two- when I see this picture I look normal sized. Like a mom with middle aged set after she’s had a couple of kids, not like a really big girl, which is what I have been. I also realized today that if I saw that lady in the store three years ago I would have noticed her and thought I’d be happy at her size. I always used to say I just wanted to be a 14 or 16. I’m here- a size 14-16 and getting smaller. Isn’t that just amazing? That picture surprised me- pleasantly.
* ;P

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