Happiness is NOW.
Happiness is happening to me right now in a big way and it feels just amazing. I haven’t felt this good in about three and a half years. Maybe longer, but that’s about when I triggered big time and started struggling mightily with depression and anxiety.
But not now.
Why am I so happy? Sometimes it’s the little things. Like the little Starbucks espresso shots with cream? They jolt me back to life for the second half of my workday and taste like liquid chocolate. Also? The fossil necklace? Bradley bought it for me as a spring-break/geology-nerd reawakening and I have been surprised, on several occasions, that it glows. I haven’t had glow-in-the-dark jewelry given to me by a boy, who I regularly crush on, for a few years. It makes me smile and I authentically like my glow glob necklace. Ha! And my kids. Sheesh. I’m in one of those super-crushy, crazy-about-my-kids, I-can’t-believe-I-had-anything-to-do-with-something-this-beautiful, what-a-privilege-to-be-their-mom kind of phase. They’re not little things, though. They are, perhaps, the biggest and most important things in my life. I decided, for them, to choose my attitude and not default to getting mad or rage-y anymore and it’s working. I’m nicer, I like myself better, they’re more relaxed, so am I… Beneficial to all. I’m not a ‘mad’ person, per se, but no matter what, anger or rage never feel good to anyone. It’s nice to actively work towards letting it go.
Work is amazing right now. I love my job, my class, my students, my coworkers- it’s just WONDERFUL there! My job is definitely tiring- today was day one of state testing with yours truly as the building coordinator, so lots to do- buts it’s also an incredibly rewarding job. I get to change lives. Today I got to work with four struggling kids on how to subtract with regrouping (formerly known as borrowing), a skill they will have for a lifetime. They got it today! That’s important work! Plus we are getting ready to perform a musical in my class. Today they shared what parts they want, what songs they love and enthused over set design, props and costumes. REAL LEARNING was happening that is FUN! Then they begged me to do more research on their insect reports. Seriously. “Pleeeeeaaase, Mrs. Littlejohn? Can we stay in from recess for Brainworks? Pleeeease??” It’s just all so unbelievably good.
And I keep on weighing in just fine. Today I’m at 200.6. I won’t complain about that one bit. I haven’t worked out since Sunday. It’s ok. 😉
Like I said: I’m so HAPPY!