BOO!  It’s October and I’m Scared!

I’m scared to take the leap and get rolling on my health again.  I’m scared of failing.  I’m scared of all my bad habits, my lack of willpower, my negative attitude about working out, my exhaustion…  but more than that I’m afraid of letting go of all my progress and backsliding.  I worked too hard to lose all this weight and get fit to gain it all back and lose my strength and fitness.  I just have to.  No choices.  I guess this is what being a grown up really means: bootstraps and self reliance.

I was thinking about when I was first getting started so long ago.  How I leaned on crutches, made goals, took babysteps and took each moment as it came to me so I wouldn’t overwhelm myself.  Sometimes this meant I could look at the day or week and trust that I could do it.  But sometimes my battle is fought minute by minute, hour by hour.  I have to remember that my power comes from self talk, a lot of coaching in my head, a lot of determination and some basic rules I set up for myself.  I also used to make prize goals for myself.  Gifts or events I would earn for doing well on my project and met goals.  

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m getting back to basics.  I’m making rules, setting goals and earning prizes.  I need to motivate myself and it all starts tomorrow.

Long-term goals: 

  • Lose 40 pounds before I turn 45 (one year)
  • Run up to 5 miles consistently (once a week).
  • Strength building at the gym or at home 2-3 times a week 
  • Running 2-3 times a week
  • Healthy eating consistently
  • Wipe out poor habits
  • Post at least once a week on Tamarashazam
  • Hit 10,000-12,000 steps daily
  • This week’s Goals:

    1. Run once after school and on both Sunday (today) and Saturday next week.
    2. Go to lifting on Tuesday night.
    3. Track food in myplate every day to gather data and start making dietary changes.
    4. Weigh myself to see the scary number before Saturday, 10/14.

    Cash and Prizes!

    Now we apply the goals, wait a year, work hard, and see what happens!!! 


      1. Paula

        I am with you on the scared to fail deal. I know I have to get myself moving in the right direction. Maybe setting goals would prompt me to clean up my eating habits. Frankly they have been terrible. I don’t know why it is so damn hard for me. I am returning to basics, calorie counting. Tracking really helps me keep it under control. I just have to stop those “only one” traps I so often fall into. Reading this post has reignited my desire to get healthy.

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