Month: November 2015

On Friday I put Fifth Harmony’s song ‘Worth It’ on, on accident, for just a moment, while my second graders were playing four corners and they about hit the ceiling.  “How do you know this song, Mrs. Littlejohn?  After just that beginning horns part, they all broke into song, even though the music was off by then.  Clearly, they knew this one!  Then I had to show off and played a whole bunch of other stuff, instead, from popular kids movies.  Yup, thanks to hip-hop-booty-camp, I have a lot of music that is definitely outside of what would be considered appropriate for my 42 year-old self.  But I’m worth it.  Lol!  

  
I had planned on running seven miles this week and going to two classes, but there’s something about this autumn that seems to be sucking up any spare minutes I find lately.  This time I did make it to Zumba, but not boot camp (my own two kiddos were leaving for the weekend, so I hurried home to kiss them goodbye).  I did run, but didn’t run seven or more miles.  I ran just around six.  Once again, however, I find myself alarmingly chill about the whole thing.  I’m dropping pounds pretty well and when I do work out I’m handling it with ease.  My fitness and nutrition seem to be functioning in a pleasing way for now, so why mess with a good thing?  And, really, I ran on Friday, Sunday (which counted for last week’s numbers), zumba’d tuesday, ran Wednesday, hiked Saturday and ran Sunday.  Just because I didn’t run all of those miles doesn’t mean I didn’t still work out.  And hiking at St. Edward, which is where we went, is really a trail run on the flats and downs and I huff it up the other side.  It’s an intense workout.  I think I just effectively talked myself out of browbeating myself for failing to meet my goal.  Lol.  I’m not editing that away because it was kind of fun to write that.  😜

  
Last year I avoided the weather a lot.  When spring, then summer came and I continued to complain about first the rain, then the heat, I realized that weather was becoming an excuse for me not to go out and run.  When I first started running, nothing would or could stop me.  I ran alone, in the dark, in any kind of weather.  I ran on vacation, at the beach, at hotels, on treadmills- I didn’t care.  I just knew I had to do it so I got it done.  After that first, big chunk of my weight was lost, I kind of let myself have more excuses about weather.  And being tired.  And whatever else.  My training stagnated and so did my weightloss.  Zumba was good for me.  It woke me back up and I started seeing changes again.  It made me want to push myself harder and try things I didn’t think I could do.  So I did the Beat the Blerch 10K this fall and three weeks later, the Snohomish River Run half marathon.  I know I can do better for myself.  I know I can be more.

• I read in The Oatmeal’s The Reasons Why I Run Long Distances that whenever it occurs to you to go for a run, do it.  Immediately.  Go get your shoes on and go.  Now.  Otherwise you’ll think of a million reasons not to go.  So I’m trying to do that.  
• I ran a half marathon without stopping.  13.1 miles, without stopping.  I realized that anything up to ten miles is (almost) a breeze, so I need to be running further distances a bit more.  And if I’m running further distances more often, the thought of doing a Ragnar starts to gnaw on me.  While I don’t have a full marathon in my sights, I could see participating in a relay with one or more legs.  While I’ve always said that’s crazy, sometimes crazy starts to sound good.  I’ve been asked to join teams several times but I’ve always said no.  That I’m not ready.  Maybe I am, now. 
•  I saw a meme that said all weather is good running weather, and I thought, “Isn’t that the truth?”  So I decided it is thus, with the exception of ice or snow or extreme cold.  I’ll run in my garage in those instances, but I will run in the rain and in the dark on safe roads with safety gear.  This weekend it was pouring miserably, almost without stopping, and I went out in it.  I ended up feeling alive and invigorated, fully reconnected to my memory of loving to run in the rain!
• Someone posted that she had made her goal of walking or running 2015 miles in 2015 on Facebook today and I got really excited.  I looked it up and I think I’m making it a goal of mine for 2016.  Basically it just means I will have to really get my 10,000 steps per day, which equates to almost five miles per day, but that’s one of my ‘rules’!  I should be doing that anyways!  Here’s the link if you want to do it too: Run the Year.
• I realized that short term goals don’t drive me as much as they used to.  I used to need them as motivation to keep on track, but something seems to have happened in my brain and I actually make healthy choices that are habits, now, without needing as many reminders.  I don’t need to force my hand as much, so to speak.  
• That said…  I do have to be careful with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays coming up.  After my Halloween candy success I’m feeling pretty confident that I’ll be able to enjoy myself without being excessive.  This will be the year of the win!  I won’t have to lose 20 pounds of holiday pudge- I’ll just lose the 20 pounds I’m always, somehow, able to lose in January and will finally be close to my goal of 170!!!  Fingers crossed!  Determination ready!

Oh- and to end my week I lost my toenail, at last.  And I weighed in at 196!  I have pictures of both, but after a lot of thought I decided that you didn’t need to see the ‘after’ picture of when my toenail came off and me holding the little, fallen nail next to it.  Shiver.  Nor would you probably want to see the picture of my feet, the next day, on the scale with said toenail missing.  Socks, Tamara!  Put on some socks!  But, yeah, 196!  It’s happening!!!!

It’s day four and it seems kind of ridiculous to continue to give the no-candy countdown.  I haven’t eaten any and I’m just going to go ahead and say I won’t.  I think I’m ok and I’m going to move on from this whole thing…  It’s funny how I really thought this was going to be a struggle; it’s silly how accomplished I feel about it all.  😜
  
I headed to the gym on Tuesday to dance Zumba with Emily for the first time in months!  I had a fabulous time!  I was a little late in arriving, so by the time I got there the only space available was the spot right behind the post in the middle of the room or in the very front, off to the side.  I opted for the front spot and was rewarded with a super-roomy spot.  When I finally got my bearings about me, I realized my friends Julie and Christina were there, as well, and another friend of ours from a different school, Laurie, joined us too!  It was my first time going to Zumba with the original posse, minus Jessica, and it felt good.. Afterwards I tried my second attempt at that selfie frame on the mirror. Once again, I missed the frame, but look at those ladies! It made my day to see them all there! When I arrived home I was pleased to find myself back in 197!!! A fabulous day, indeed!

The last song at Zumba, Runnin‘, was our cool down and I was just kind of going through it, best I could. It was a new song to me so I was trying to simply keep up, when Emily came to stand right in front of me, stretching her neck first one way, then the other. It was then that I noticed she was mouthing the words to the song, “If I lose myself, I lose it all.” Over and over like a mantra. “If I lose myself, I lose it all.” Suddenly I was threatening tears in Zumba, emotional like crazy, and had to pull it together quickly before the ugly cry surfaced.
Sometimes, I think, messages come when we are ready to hear them. Everything I am is because of me. I’m strong because of my own determination, because of my choices, my perseverance. If I lose myself, I will lose it all. I wrote a little, last time, about how I feel like I’m being released from ice, lately, seeing and understanding relationships a little better, and this song flooded over me as truth. If I lose myself I lose it all. Thank you to the heavens for that message. It was a beautiful reminder.

 
There’s a lot of candy at Lj House.  A loooooooootttt of candy.  So much.  You see, we realized that we might be at the end of an era.  She’s 12 now, and after elementary school the kids start deciding what to do as big kids on their own*.  It’s no longer a given that they’ll dress up, so we wanted to make this one was the epic year.  They year when we didn’t stop.  They year when we really earned the bragging rights of three neighborhoods and going until folks turned their lights off, and we did.  And we were tired, come 8:14, dragging into our house after three hours of trick or treating.  Also known as begging.  When they dumped it out and started sorting, I was amazed.  People spent a lot of money on us last night!  

That jar in the top left of the collage is just one of two.  Each kid has a copious amount of candy, each has a giant two gallon jar, stuffed full.  This could be trouble for mom and dad, but it won’t.  I said, could!  I’ve promised myself to avoid the candy after Halloween night.  Last night I ate a peanut butter Snickers, a chocolate eyeball, a Kit Kat, Almond Joy and a Charleston Chew.  Today I’ve eaten nothing and I couldn’t be more proud!  I plan on staying the course!

Jude got all amped up about the Jimmy Kimmel Candy Challenge, so when he left today, after begging me to trick him, I decided to follow through on the practical joke.  He thiought it would be really fun if I pretended to eat all of his candy and make him cry.  I told him that is really just not my style and I don’t like teasing, that practical jokes make people feel bad, but he thought it would be sooooo much fun.  When he left home on an errand, I did just that.  I took his candy, hid it and dumped all of the wrappers from last night into his jar.  He came home and immediately started crying, privately, so sad that I ate all of his candy.  He asked me over and over, and for about 20 minutes I made him live with the practical joke.  He decided that it wasn’t so fun even though it is funny to watch other kids have it happen to them.  Little goofball!

  
Part of my Halloween candy deal is that they can eat it all as fast or as slow as they want.  It is all theirs.  I want nothing to do with any of it at all.  I don’t want to see it, touch it, have to clean up wrappers- nothing.  The less I interact with it, the better.  So it lives in their rooms as well.  The final part is that while the candy lasts, there needs to be 20-30 minutes of active playtime.  I don’t care what it is, but the thought of them sitting and consuming it in front of the tv without moving makes me sick.  Today we dragged their grouchy little tails out to run around at the high school.  We’ve found they have great, lit, covered, outdoor hallways where we can run while the kids ride scooters and run all around in a fairly safe and well-lit, dry place!  Bradley and I got some mileage in and the kids did too.

While I was disappointed in my lack of goal keeping last week, I’m glad I set them.  They stuck with me, and anytime I felt like a slacker, I reminded myself to do what I could right then.  I could walk circles while I read aloud.  I could go to recess and play with the kids.  I could avoid the candy.  I could eat a pear instead of pasta.  I made substitutions that made sense where and when available, then, as soon as I could, I started the working out, too.  Running on Friday, Zumba Saturday, running today.  It’s a great start to a solid week, and I feel more prepared because I kept those goals in front of me.  This week’s goals:

• Weigh myself.  I haven’t been avoiding the scale, I just got busy and failed to get on.  I realized it’s been about two weeks since I weighed in, and I’m slightly nervous, even if my nerves do seem unnecessary…
• Food journal twice
• Run seven miles, Zumba twice

*While we don’t believe in a stopping age for trick or treating, I remember receiving the scorn of my neighbors for being ‘too big’ to trick or treat beginning when I was nine years old.  I remember, that first time, wanting to run home to get my parents (back in the days of free-range trick or treating!) to vouch my honesty at being ‘only’ nine to the lady who refused to believe me and then rolled her eyes as she dropped the candy into my bag. It was probably cheap, nasty, rubbery hubba bubba gum, too.  Grouchy old lady.  Those moments can be so scarring, shaming and awkward!  It’s just candy, for goodness sake!  If you don’t want to participate, don’t put out a pumpkin, amiright?!?!?