junk food

Gross. Guh-ross!

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Tonight my kids are gone, spending night with their grandpa. Bradley and I are alone in the house, rattling around… Looking for something to do. We made dinner, went in the hot tub, and ate. I ate a BLT (fake bacon, naturally), a bag of pop chips, and tried to call it good. Except… It wasn’t good. I wanted something more. So, I decided to let myself have it. “It” being whatever I wanted to put in my mouth. I wanted chips and salsa. In the belly. Reese’s peanut butter cup. Nom nom nom. And it was if the Teddy Grahams just danced down my throat to some old Grateful Dead tunes. It was all very peaceful and fun and I enjoyed letting myself eat food. I haven’t eaten off my plan, really, since New Years. I’ve been very good for over four months.
(All totaled, I had two servings of tortilla chips, two of salsa, the equivalent of two-three Reese’s peanut butter cups and a handful of teddy Grahams. It could have been MUCH worse. It also could have been much better though, I know.)
Cut to two hours later. Gross. GROSS! GUH-ROSS! That’s how my belly feels now. Gross gross gross. I don’t miss junk food as much as I assumed I would. Turns out? All that junk makes me feel sick.

Birthday Party

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Today went pretty well.
I would say great except…
I decided that rather than fight temptation all day and be mad about messing up, I gave myself permission to eat as many veggies and (reasonable) dip as I wanted. But in between I did sample at least 30 of those Cheetos puffs. You know, the store brand ones that come in that giant see-through tub at Target? The mother of all Cheetos tubs? This one:

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Yep. That thing is in my house and I ONLY ate about thirty of them. Frankly, I think I deserve a medal. Made of Cheetos balls? Maybe that would not be for the best. But it would be delicious.
I waited until later tonight to eat my slice of cake. I wanted to sit down and enjoy it rather than wolf it down and eat a second piece later. My cake was yummy, but I’m still definitely more of a donut girl.
Mostly, my boy had a fantastic day with his idols and friends. It was a pleasure worthy of enduring temptation. And we even managed to squeeze a walk in after all was said and done! Thank goodness! It has been two solid days of not working out and it was making me nervous!
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My scale made a return this morning. The number reported was the same as the one from Sunday of last week. Sigh. No gain at least!