While I can’t blame her for everything, I think I may have solved part of the weight gain mystery: some people sleepwalk and some sleeptalk. It’s been told to me by my husband that I do those (plus more) but now I can add sleep eat to this charming list of special features. How do I know? Apparently, Bradley has casually started keeping track. It started a few months back, soon after I started on my medication. I was startled awake with crackers in my mouth by Bradley, asking if I meant to be eating at 3:00 in the morning. I retorted something defensively about being hungry, but really didn’t know what was up. The night before last, I was startled awake when I dropped a box of crackers that went everywhere and made a big sound. Last night I was awakened, in the pantry again, by Freddie who came downstairs to check on me. Two nights in a row!
When I shared my findings with Bradley, he responded that it’s no wonder I’m so tired lately: he hears me getting up 4-5 times per night, banging around, opening doors, wreaking all kinds of havoc. I know I get up once or twice, but 4-5 times?! Then he admitted that he’s been survailing me a bit, watching me. He agrees that there’s no way my food input should result in this kind of weight gain and my nocturnal binge eating is undoing all the hard work he sees me putting in. Then he said, “Your inner fat girl figured out how to play after all these years,” which is both funny and sad.
I know how much I weigh now. I’m not ready to post it here. I’ve lost 2.25 since 1/1. Gigi and I ran today. I’m doing the work, eating right, working out. But damn my inner fat girl. I hope finding out her secret is enough to banish her for a while again. She can come party every once in a while, but this has to stop.
I remembered, however, when Katie from Runs for Cookies fell off the wagon and went from her 130ish to over 150. She had a moment of realization hit her, too, and she had to get back to basics. She got back to weightwatchers and working out in earnest. She fought off her fat and got back to her comfort zone. I’ll say again like I said at the beginning of my body project: if she can, I can too.