Runnin’

It’s day four and it seems kind of ridiculous to continue to give the no-candy countdown.  I haven’t eaten any and I’m just going to go ahead and say I won’t.  I think I’m ok and I’m going to move on from this whole thing…  It’s funny how I really thought this was going to be a struggle; it’s silly how accomplished I feel about it all.  😜
  
I headed to the gym on Tuesday to dance Zumba with Emily for the first time in months!  I had a fabulous time!  I was a little late in arriving, so by the time I got there the only space available was the spot right behind the post in the middle of the room or in the very front, off to the side.  I opted for the front spot and was rewarded with a super-roomy spot.  When I finally got my bearings about me, I realized my friends Julie and Christina were there, as well, and another friend of ours from a different school, Laurie, joined us too!  It was my first time going to Zumba with the original posse, minus Jessica, and it felt good.. Afterwards I tried my second attempt at that selfie frame on the mirror. Once again, I missed the frame, but look at those ladies! It made my day to see them all there! When I arrived home I was pleased to find myself back in 197!!! A fabulous day, indeed!

The last song at Zumba, Runnin‘, was our cool down and I was just kind of going through it, best I could. It was a new song to me so I was trying to simply keep up, when Emily came to stand right in front of me, stretching her neck first one way, then the other. It was then that I noticed she was mouthing the words to the song, “If I lose myself, I lose it all.” Over and over like a mantra. “If I lose myself, I lose it all.” Suddenly I was threatening tears in Zumba, emotional like crazy, and had to pull it together quickly before the ugly cry surfaced.
Sometimes, I think, messages come when we are ready to hear them. Everything I am is because of me. I’m strong because of my own determination, because of my choices, my perseverance. If I lose myself, I will lose it all. I wrote a little, last time, about how I feel like I’m being released from ice, lately, seeing and understanding relationships a little better, and this song flooded over me as truth. If I lose myself I lose it all. Thank you to the heavens for that message. It was a beautiful reminder.

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