My brothers and sisters, we are all in this together. As you’ve read over the past several days, I’ve been having ridiculous cravings for everything and anything and so have you! I think my blog is pretty quiet concerning very much interaction between my readers and me. I get the odd comment here and there, responses now and then via Facebook, friends text me from time to time, but this time? Regarding binging? I’ve heard from so many of you.
So many of us are kind of glaring at the Easter Bunny about now, fairly ticked off that we were doing so well and then he literally came by and dropped off a couple of baskets full of candy, all innocent, like we are just going to be able to deal.
Or maybe it’s just spring and we are all active now and therefore hungrier than ever.
Or maybe it’s because we’ve been pushing so hard for so long that we just want a freaking break from all this calorie monitoring and exercising…
Or maybe we are burned out…
Maybe it’s spring break and we want a vacation from it all…
Maybe a lot of things.
But what is certain is that we are struggling, collectively, to get this under control. Thank you all for reaching out to me. You have no idea how helpful it is to hear back from you and know that you are waging similar battles.
Today it’s like a switch flipped and I’m doing just fine. This has been the first day during this break where I woke up without feeling bleary, groggy and I don’t feel like I was drinking heavily or in surgery all night. Honestly? Until quite recently my job has been harder than ever, in my life, and I think I’m in a little bit of recovery from it. During break, though, I think I’ve been looking to food to kind of kick start me every day, but I know it’s a big fat no-no that gets me in a bad place, so instead I’ve been leaning hard of coffee to no avail. But today? I woke up, opened the blinds, breathed the fresh air and planned what kind of workout I was going for. I ate normal food and didn’t pine for things like I have all week long. When that binge-y-crave-y thing lets up on it’s hold over my brain, my inner fat girl sits down and goes to sleep and active girl goes to town. Love it.
With my newfound clarity I was able to see what I had done in my binge-y crave-y state. I amassed a small hoard of crappy, sugary foods for ‘just in case’ or ‘when I need it’. I bought four Cadbury Caramel Eggs, a big bag of Cadbury mini eggs plus the makings for a delicious Peanut Buster Parfait for ‘when I earn it’. Are you kidding me? I ‘used to’ have a food hoarding problem. Something tells me that I still can and do from time to time. Fortunately, I stayed true to my promises for future earnings of bad food choices and didn’t binge on it’s eat more than some of the mini eggs. I mostly just collected it. Now I need to figure out what to do with it. Oh, the problems we food addicts make for ourselves…
Today I had a goal to beat my time on this hiking trail at St. Edward that we use a lot. I’m consistently 2nd or 3rd to last in all the segments according to the app I use (if you get the Strava Run app you can follow me, too!). Whenever anyone does better than me and takes my position I get a message that so and so moved up in the ranking and is now in 17th and I’m in 18th, or whatever. Today I wanted speed. I wanted to see how fast I could go on this trail if I really was allowed to run as fast as I want, us encumbered by children. But we took the dog who, halfway through, she started throwing up and slowing down. She is 13 years old so, of course, we listen to her and slow down. But even still? I moved up to 3rd-10th from my previous 17th-19th rankings! I want to return again tomorrow, this time leaving the dog at home, to see what I can really do. Don’t worry, we will take Martha around the neighborhood on a geriatric dog’s speed walk.
Bradley made me laugh pretty hard when he accidentally brought along the gigantic, sleeping-bag-sized Target shopping bag to clean up Martha’s poo. For big jobs! I laughed even harder when he ran low enough on bags that he had to use it! (She’s turned into a serial jobber in her old age, requiring 4-7 pick-ups per walk! So yucky! It’s why I leave her home when I run now.)
Lesleigh A
Just want you to know even though I don’t comment I read all of your posts. I lost 70 lbs a year and a half ago (took me 2 yrs to loose it) and am trying to maintain now. I’ve gained 10lbs back but have kept pretty steady for awhi,e now. Running became my new love while loosing weight and so I really love blogs like yours. Plus you are so down to earth. I love your blog. Please keep writing-even if you don’t get a lot of comments most days.