I did it. You are likely asking, “What?!” To which I answer I cleaned my house of holiday sweets, rendering my cupboards barren of frosted sugar cookies, fudge, molasses cookies, Oreo Bon-bons and, the most difficult, the remaining pecan sandies which are my absolute favorite, from my very own mama’s kitchen. It is no exaggeration to say I was on the brink of tears as a feeling of panic rose inside of me while I fed each yummy treat into the mouth of the garbage disposal. I started with the easy goodies that I didn’t care as much about, but as I stuffed my mom’s cookies into the sink, I worried that there would be a zombie apocalypse and I would regret throwing away food, I thought of starving people and the shame of actually throwing away perfectly good food because I am so privileged to have so much food that I overeat it to the point of obesity, I thought about my mom getting into a freak accident and that I might be destroying the last batch of cookies that she might ever make for me.
Clearly, this was a traumatic event for me, as silly as it seems, that I came up with such fantastic stories to justify the keeping of the cookies. I’ll admit that I did squirrell away some of the frosted cookies into the freezer for future school lunches, along with a loaf of zucchini bread… And I did let my daughter ferret the traditional German butter cookies up to her room to enjoy at her leisure, but the rest is gone.
I have at once a tremendous sense of relief and an acute sense of fear for what I will do when I feel the need for something sweet.
Here I go- Step 1: ditching the sugar addiction. Scary. It’s silly to admit how unnerved I am at having gotten rid of the stash. I just need to remember that I don’t need to hoard food. If I want something again, I can always go to the store, and really, I’m going to be just fine. 🙂