This morning I weighed in at 208! Woohoo! You may be saying to yourself, well, Tamara, that is a higher weight than the previously reported 205 pounds. Why are you doing a happy dance?
You know how I’m all like, “I’m going to be totally real with y’all on this here blog,” all the time? And I’m all like, “This blog is the place for me to hold myself accountable with public airing of my successes and failures,” quite often? Welp, sometimes it’s hard to publicly fail.
I wouldn’t even say I failed, outright. Mostly I faltered, got overwhelmed, got frustrated… Failure would have been completely going backwards and gaining a blue million pounds. I didn’t gain a blue million pounds, rather I almost got to my holy crap! panic weight of 220 pounds! That is the magic number- I have promised myself that I will never weigh more than 220 again, and when/if I do, I have to fall back on my mad dieting skillz and lose it before the fat literally takes over again. I have no doubt in my abilities to reach 340 in record time, without even trying. Fortunately, I only got to 218. Revisiting 220 and having to hold myself accountable to my promise happened way faster than I thought it would, so I set my mind to it and I whittled myself down to 212-214 then kind of hung out there for a month. I decided to train hard for the half marathon and let go of the diet, to just work and work out. I stayed at the same 213ish and was pretty okay with that. 212, to me, is pretty stinking skinny.
I figured out that what was making me gain and maintain was that I started snacking at night again (the increase in activity made me ravenous, so I just let myself do it) and I figured out, again, that night eating is my greatest down falling, my greatest weakness, and my greatest opportunity to binge. Last week I reinstated my nighttime 12 hour fast rule again. That means that I try to truly make my breakfast an opportunity to break a fast. I stop eating at 7:00 at night and don’t eat again until 7:00 in the morning. I try to make my dinner loaded with veggies with lots of fiber so I’m not starving by 8:30 and it works pretty well.
Just that small change made me lose four pounds this week. If I had doubts before, they are vanquished. I have been practicing the exact, same eating habits, I haven’t been exercising beyond packing boxes and teaching, and I lost four pounds! I’ll take it!