Today I Sat. Tonight I Rode!

You ever have one of those days where you talk yourself into a workout with a bribe? Today was soooo looong and boooorring. It was a non-student day. And it wasn’t long and boring because of the content or company (well, it was a little because of the content), it was because I sat in a chair for the entire day. Except for the brief trip to the library for lunch and the couple of potty breaks, I was in a chair. I was squirmy and I’ll admit that I got a little bit rummy and super goofy. Perhaps a little loud. Maaayyybe that was me taking jokes too far like Bradley and I do late at night in bed after we’ve used up all of our TV time and it’s our toes intertwined an our laughter ringing. So I got home and was like, climbing the walls. I realized that I rely on that bit of activity of wandering my classroom, helping my students, kneeling down, picking stuff up, leading lines… All that stuff is important to me these days.

AANNNYways, even though I sat around all day I was that kind of tired that comes from sitting around all day talking theory and polarities and assessment. Drained. And I didn’t want to get on my bike, crunch anything, run or walk around outside. I finally opted for the bike because I told myself I’d let myself watch guilty pleasure TV while I rode. By the time I hopped on the bike I was amped to catch up with the Biggest Losers. Will the white team of one make it??? (She did!) I’m rooting for some(Danielle & Jackson), despising others (Gina, I don’t know why!!) and it was the perfect motivator for the bike.

I got on the bike. The Internet today was fixed after a week of it not being able to stream (loose wire at the hub or something). The setting was perfect. Then the show wouldn’t work. The Internet was being a nerd and wouldn’t let me watch anything longer than 30 seconds. Then my bike’s display started fritzing out. My setting kept starting over and over and at first I got annoyed because not only would my show not work, but I had to keep starting my ride over after about ten minutes into my ride! Bradley fixed the Internet issues and the show started up, but the bike was still being weird any time I tilted or touched the handles. Then I realized I had a challenge and I decided to ride either until the end of the Biggest Loser or until my bike made it through an entire cycle. I ended up riding for 60 minutes (to the tune of 800 calories burned!) and was able to see Lisa get voted off. (Yes, I’m several weeks behind cuz that’s how I roll.)

My goal this weekend is to stay on track, of course. To not give in to temptation and to follow my plan of exercise and diet. I want to go to the track tomorrow morning and maybe Sunday too. My kids are going to be gone tomorrow night and I just have to remember that celebrating with my husband and having a good time with him doesn’t mean I have to be stupid about food.

Tomorrow I also get to weigh myself on my SCALE. I’m actually really nervous and tried to bribe Bradley to give it back to me tonight when I first got home. He wouldn’t then teased that he might keep it from me for longer and I flipped out and he saw what a manic psycho I am about that thing. I swear, I just about breathed fire and shot poison darts from my eyes. He backed down real quick.

This was the most rambly entry evah. But I feel like writing every day helps keep me accountable beyond just the food journal. This keeps track of my thinking, my intentional positivity, my intentional determination, my motivation. πŸ™‚

Saturday

I made a goal last week to stay on track, push myself to work out harder and to continue to eat healthy food. I also made the goal of making it out of my current decade by this weekend (meaning to go through one ten pound set like 79-70). I’m happy to report that I made the first part. My practice was great. I hit my calorie targets every day and stayed very active. But I didn’t lose anything. In fact I gained three. I’m all bloaty.

I remember back when we lived in Bellingham. I was at my one of my highest weights and having one of my most wacky hormonal times. Suddenly I threw myself into a weightloss regime. Bradley joined me. We were both determined and, while he steadily lost weight, eating the same calories I gained a pound or two. Back then, it was enough to take my steam and I acquiesced to a lifetime of big.

But when it mattered more, I had more determination. When I was chasing getting pregnant with Jude, the cost was so high if I didn’t succeed that I just had to do it. It wasn’t a choice, it was an expectation. I was successful, of course. I remember, at one point, sitting for an entire month without losing anything. I would become frustrated then suddenly four or five pounds would disappear and I would know it wasn’t all for naught.

The stakes are high this time too. I only have one life. I want to live it long and well.

To stay on target I just have to keep it in my head that it will all pay off. And while that scale number may not change, my pants fit differently (when I’m not bloaty), my skin looks and feels different, I’m getting in shape and I feel good about what I’m doing.

My goal for this weekend is the same as last – eat well. Work it out. Play with the kids. Sleep. Ignore the fact that the scale is not moving in the right direction! Maybe consider stopping looking at the scale so much!
πŸ™‚
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I just went and looked at the day I started with running intervals. It was only ten days ago. I’ve gone from barely running 30 seconds to jogging for 12 minutes straight in ten days.

Whining

It is so frustrating to keep stepping on the scale this week and not show a loss. Instead, the scale shows a small gain. I’ve been working out so hard and eating soooo cleanly! How am I showing a minor gain and no loss?!

Common sense says there are normal weight fluctuations with water. I’m working out really hard and I’m working pretty much every muscle possible on my body. When that happens, one’s body goes into a little bit of shock, the muscles grab a little water and hold it, they bloat and become a little puffy. I know all of this.

Common sense also says I can see and feel it in the clothes I’m wearing. My tummy actually is getting smaller. My shape is emerging a little more. Because, seriously, since January 1st, I’ve lost 16 pounds (grand total of 85 lost so far) and some of my clothes are beginning to show that by looking huge on me. That’s nothing to sneeze at right now.

But I still want to see the progress with the smaller number on that scale! Boo-hoo.