Goals – Win Some, Lose Some

That moment when you wake up on Sunday morning all content… Only to bolt upright in bed with the realization that you literally FORGOT to do your final abs workout to earn the goodie. I was so mad. (Not really, disappointed.) The super annoying part is that Bradley asked me if I wanted to go to Old Navy last night when we drove by, I said no and felt all smug that all I needed was to finish up one more workout last night to earn my shopping prize. Then I came home and heavily invested hours upon hours in TED Talks, thereby completely COMPLETELY FORGETTING my abs. Booooooooo! No present for me.

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On the other hand… I did make my basic goals. That is cause for celebratory booty shaking dances.
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Workout Tally
Abs Workouts: 3
Goal: 3
Goal for prize: 4 (BOOOOO!)
Miles ran this week: 15.4
Goal: 15 (I did it!)

New goals:
Abs Goal: 3
Goal for Prize: 4 (again!)
Mileage Goal: 10
I’m lowering my mileage for two reasons:
1. I’m tired. My muscles are tired. My joints are tired. I need to take an easier, healing week.
2. I have an insane work week coming up, staying late at work and getting home late all week. Every stinking day. Running will be a lower priority and I don’t welcome the added stress.
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We went for a run yesterday at the track. I ran my 2 miles and then got out of there. Afterwards Bradley and I talked about our feelings about the track. It was funny because we have the exact arguments and feelings about those places, I just feel the way about street running that he feels about track running and visa-versa!
Track running is really good. The track is flat, so no undue stress on the body. It is cushy, so less impact on the joints. But even more than that, we can all go. Jude is not quite big enough to run more than 1/4-1/2 a mile. Gigi regularly racks up mileage, but Jude is still babyish, slow and, of course, not terribly interested. When we go to the track, three can run together while the other plays in the sand pit, climbs the track and field or football equipment, or he plays soccer in the field. It works out well, family-wise.
However, I feel very self-conscious running on the track. Whenever we go, I am the lone woman, circling. On top of that, and this is just my own issue, I am usually the fattest person at the track. I feel like a minority that doesn’t belong, similar to the way people probably feel working out at a gym next to the ‘hot bod’ babes. I feel highly visible and prefer the unassuming nature of the street. Of course I also like the natural world better, with hills, valleys, leaves and blossoms. I like the changing view, people’s houses, people and watching the world change.
Bradley, on the other hand, enjoys the track because he feels like it is where you are supposed to run. He feels self conscious, like running on the street is shoving it in people’s faces, all pious and judgey- you know, for the same reason people hate it when other people post about working out on Facebook.* I suppose it reminds people that they need to work out and no one wants to work out, usually, so he feels like a nag by default.
Street running, for me, is the exact opposite. To me, street running has no airs. If I’m doing it wrong, no one is going to mock me. I hear people make comments at the track all the time, “He has a weird style, but it works, I suppose.” “Yeah, I’ve been watching him. Slow and steady, he’s not fast, but good for him.” Pseudo-compliments from pseudo-experts. On the street they might think things, but there aren’t groups of ‘experts’ judging the ‘best’ way to do things. It’s just people in cars, houses or yards who see this person run by a few times every week. Furthermore, I like the hills, the views and the fact that because I run I am becoming a personality in my neighborhood. I’m starting to know people (and dogs) in my neighborhood and they are beginning to know me. I like that.
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I spent some time studying my Strava account yesterday and found the following:

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A few pieces of amazement:
1. Yesterday I was averaging 5 runs per week. If I ran today I’m sure I’d get the same result.
2. In the past 28 days I’ve run 55 miles and gone for 19 runs! WOW!
3. My total distance is 79 miles. I’m close to running 100 miles- AMAZING! I went from only having ever run 1 little mile in my life to having run almost 100 times that. Wow. Just… Wow.
I’m kind of in awe of myself. Meaning- I don’t sit around all self congratulatory all the time, but if someone from work told me this story I would be impressed. So I’m allowing myself to be impressed with myself. šŸ™‚
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Ooh goodness I am proud when i have just worked out. I ran a mile, a half mile, three miles- whatever! But if you post stuff like that on Facebook people hate it, to the point that they make memes mocking people who do it. I don’t get it. We should be proud of those things that make our hearts pump with joy and lust for life, not luridly fascinated by people’s sad lives.
I pick and choose who I share with personally. I post a lot here, yes, but if you come to this website you know what you’re going to find- workout stories and weightloss successes and struggles… maybe some failures. But there is a group of folks online and at my work who have I have kind of linked arms with and I tell them everything, spam them with pictures, brag when I worked out- all that. I NEED that. I hold myself accountable by sharing what I’m doing. I’m proud, yes, but also trying to build the expectation that I’m the person who works out, eats right… And if I ever stopped people would harass me about it, wonder about it, ask about it… I can’t quit if everyone knows. That would be humiliating. Being able to use Facebook for support like that without social retaliation would be nice, don’t you think?

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