Fresh Starts & False Starts

The other day I was talking to somebody and they gave me a really nice compliment- she said that I’m inspiring and that what I have managed to do is amazing. I was grateful, thanked her and then turned the compliment back to her.  She is one of those people who started a really successful fitness, health and fat loss program, got derailed for several months, got discouraged and now is picking up the pieces, getting back in the saddle and hitting the trail again.  I authentically admire her effort and progress in the same way she admires mine.  Truly.  And that seems funny to people sometimes, I think, because why would I admire someone who has ‘only’ lost {insert any number} of pounds when I have lost a ‘staggering’ 149 pounds?

 {I have a nasty cold so you get race day pics instead of new derpy run pics otd}
 What I have come to realize though is that we aren’t so different from Edison, who famously tried thousands of fibers before he figured out which filament would be most effective in the lightbulb.  Those of us who want to change our lives- get healthy, get skinny, get active, get happy- whatever, we try and fail over and over again until finally we don’t fail and the lightbulb stays brightly lit. Just like Edison, with each attempt we learn something new.  We make shifts.  We try new things, form new hypotheses and try again.  I learned that cute little diet plans don’t work for me.  I rebel, sneak and find work arounds a like a naughty child if I follow a prescribed plan, so I had to go rogue and make my bare bones, honest-to-a-T calorie input and output plan.  I learned that I fake and dumb down exercise by slowing my walking down to a saunter, avoid chasing tennis balls and float/swim, so I decided to force myself to run.  Further.  Longer.  Faster.  I can’t fake in running like I can fake walking, swimming or any kind of sportsing.  Believe me, I always found ways.  I learned that any person who coached or guided me me besides myself instantly became an enemy.  I would boil with contempt if I felt forced, so I had to be the one to force myself.  I learned that self reliance was key for me.  I had to learn discipline.  I had to learn how to be honest with myself.  It took time, many false starts, a lot of forgiveness and fresh starts before I finally was able to put it all together and make this miracle happen.

So I really admire the people who are making that fresh start.  I know that each time they start they’re that much closer to being successful.  They’re that much stronger, that much smarter, that much more determined and that much more likely to meet their goal.  It’s exciting to watch it happen and it’s always fun to have friends with things in common- especially passion projects like ours.  I always say that every moment is an opportunity for a fresh start.  Seriously- if you know me or have been a student in my class, you know that this is a mantra of mine.  As soon as you make the decision to start fresh it’s like a miracle occurs.  You can wait for Monday, but tomorrow works as does tonight, this evening and even right now.  There’s no shame in false starts or mistakes, especially if it’s followed by a fresh start, and isn’t it amazing that you can’t have too many fresh starts?!  They won’t run out until you’re dead, so keep trying and know that you have at least one person in your corner who is on the edge of her seat, rooting for you and believing in you!  (It’s me! Lj!😘)

Speaking of passion, I’ve long been trying to figure out how to turn my passion project into something more than a hobby.  Kendall, the primary instructor from, is coming to Seattle in September to teach a master certification Zumba class.  It got me thinking about how much I love being fit and sharing my passion for health and fitness with other people.  I love bringing my friends together for Zumba after school in my classroom…  I think I’m going to try to become an instructor!  I chatted a tiny bit with Kendall and asked if I need to have a dance background and she let me know that I don’t.  I am going to practice, in earnest, the routines this spring and summer to see if I might actually have it in me to be coordinated enough to become an official Zumba instructor.  I don’t know what I would do with that, but it feels like a start…  Of something.  From there I started researching steps to becoming a personal trainer and I started seeing some fun potential.  I don’t think I’ll be quitting my day job anytime soon, but it’s always fun to learn more and it will be nice to have some official answers to some of the questions I get.  😉


  1. Lesleigh

    You would be such a great Zumba instructor! You got me excited to go and we don’t even know each other!! Just reading your posts made me want to try it. I can’t even imagine how inspiring you’d be in person-as a teacher. 🙂
    I love your blog. I haven’t had a chance to read it in awhile but I’m having a great time catching up.

  2. Paula

    This post is exactly what I needed to hear. I have lost weight, but gained it back and it just makes me feel so bad. I am finding my way back slowly. I am new to running & found it has helped me get on track. It is something that is working for me. You are spot on with everything you have stated here. BTW – go for the certification. Do something you love is a dream for most. Go for it.

    • Tamara

      Oh my goodness- you brought tears to my eyes. Yes to doing what we love and being who we want to be, right?! Love that you’re here and I love hearing from you!!!

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