Bad News, Good News

The bad news: Nutrition
I remember last January when I weighed in at over 220 and just freaking out and being so angry that my weight had skyrocketed so much just from one, darn month! I swore to myself that I wouldn’t do that again. I swore that I would use self control, avoid sweets and just charge on through without even a sniff thrown at a cookie, a piece of fudge or some delicious cheesy potatoes.
Oh my. How resolute I was 11 months ago. It’s funny how I’m the exact opposite of that now. Fudge? Yes, please. Coffee tastes better with leftover sugar cookies. So does fudge. And anything else. Cookies are best eaten in groups of 3-5 and meals follow afternoons of nibbling and sampling this and that which are laying here and there, and my tummy grumbles when it gets the least bit close to empty.
In short, I have a problem again. Or, problems.
I have a sugar addiction. I’m always hungry. I’m saying yes to myself ALL the time. I’m craving bad foods all the time, now. I stopped saying no. I’m justifying poor choices as valid, nutritious options. My nutrition is awful and my waistline is reflecting that. I weigh 215, my belt went from being tightened down to 3 notches in to the first outermost notch, the clothes Bradley tried on me a few short weeks ago don’t fit and I want to binge every night! I need to get this under control. Seriously.

{this is one of the dresses purchased for me, tried on and fitted a few short weeks ago… now too tight to wear for more than a picture 🙁 }
The good news?
I’m keeping my commitment to exercise!
I’ve hit my exercise goals every day of running for 20 or more minutes and making 10,000 steps per day! It’s been great! I even ran on Christmas Day. That is my level of dedication, people. Running has been getting easy-peasy again and I’m hardly breathing hard enough so I’ve been having to hike up the speed on the treadmill. To meet the steps, Bradley and I have been taking a walk every day as well and dragging the kids on local (freezing cold) hiking adventures. It’s been really helpful to have the goals to guide me. Were I not keeping track, it would be quite easy to stay under 2000 steps per day.
The solid exercise patterns should definitely help me as I start working into a more productive weightloss cycle. I wrote to my coworkers before break, asking who would like to join me as I try to banish my last bit of weight. I’m employing some of that solid determination I used so well earlier in my project to propel me forward, but I’ll admit that it’s difficult. I’m hoping that together, as a community, we can lean on one another to stay strong in the New Year.
I think as my first step, I’m going to throw away the cookies and goodies. Do you have any idea how difficult that is for me even to write?! Having them around is such a huge temptation to me though. A temptation that is proving too strong for me. Getting rid of that stuff will put me back on track and will help rid me of my sugar addiction and snack/binge habit that I’ve developed. I remember just a few months ago remarking that the food monster didn’t have me in it’s hold anymore. I suppose it’s harder to beat it away amidst all of the December sweetness.
Onward and forward to a healthier and happier version of myself in 2015!


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