Happy 2nd Blogiversary!

{my chart topping heaviest and today}
This weekend, two years ago, I made a commitment to myself. I decided to become a weightloss warrior, to become a healthier version of myself. I decided that this weightloss thing wasn’t going to just happen, I was going to have to will it into being. At that time, I wanted to weigh 230. I figured I would be about a size 16 and could make it through life much happier and with greater longevity than I was at my then-weight of 320-340 and size 28-30. Since then, it’s been quite an adventure. I thought I was going to lose weight and kind of made my tag line of ‘I’m growing super powers and losing other things’ kind of with a flip attitude, unsure of what to say there but needed to say something… I had no idea that losing weight would be such a deep head trip too. There’s been a complete rewiring and remodeling of me. It’s been so difficult but the best thing I’ve ever done in my life besides Bradley and my babies.
Today I was pondering my progress and process, and I have to say I am pretty amazed that I’m two years into this project. I’ve been living this lifestyle for some time, now. When I sent out that letter to all of my friends and family two years ago, it was such a leap of faith. It was so scary. So unbelievably scary to admit to everyone that I had a food addiction problem, but even more, to publicly say that I was going to fix it. To be held accountable in front of everyone. I knew that every time I saw those people for the next several months they would be looking for signs of success or failure, and I needed it to be success. Not for them, but for me. There was no option to fail; I couldn’t have borne it. Sending out that letter was one of the greatest and most terrifying, courageous things I could have ever done, and today it reminded me of a wedding. I invited people to witness this commitment I made to myself.
And from that, I thought of AA and how people who are addicts find a community, own their transgressions and continue to shout their battles out to their people. I needed that too. I’m an addict, just the kind of addict who has to use her drug every day without ever giving it up cold turkey. I need you all. I need this. More and more, I’m also realizing how much I needed that commitment. My rebirth. My come-to-Jesus moment. My rock bottom.
In a way, today is absolutely my new birthday. I’m a born- again life-liver.
It’s been two earnest years with about 140 pounds of fat lost, lots of muscle gained and a brand new lens to look at life through. I’m active, happy, secure and a more complete version of myself than I ever imagined I could be. Life is so good. Perfect? Never. But pretty damn good.
Happy birthday to me, and a happy blogiversary to us all, indeed!

Today I celebrated my birthday/blogiversary with the Runs For Cookies Virtual 5k. Bradley and I ran it today in about 37 minutes. It was a lovely run in the beautiful January sunshine. In 2013 I started following runs For Cookies the Monday after Katie’s birthday, which is also when she sponsors her 5K. I decided that if this whole weightloss/exercise thing stuck that I would celebrate my anniversary every year with this fun, free 5K, and now I’m 2:2!